A Teaspoon Of Love, Compassion, and Kindness?

Something was missing.

I’ve made my Turkey Chili & Beans for years. After countless tweaks and adjustments, the recipe has evolved into a family favorite. Always yummy all the time.

But this time it was off. It just didn’t have the flavor it was supposed to have.

That’s what happens when you forget to add the spices.

I had pre-portioned out the blend of cumin, cilantro, chili powder, and turmeric and set them aside, waiting for the right time to add them to the simmering pot. Apparently I forgot to add them in, and the result was rather bland.

The spices made up such a small percentage of all the ingredients, yet their absence made such a huge impact on the entire dish.

Little things certainly do make a big difference.

In cooking.

And in life.

Things like love, compassion, and kindness, three of life’s most important spices. Their absence will also make a huge impact. Yet their presence has the power to change the world.

Your world. My world. The entire world.

When life feels a bit bland, when it feels like something is missing, maybe that’s the time to add a bit of love, kindness, and Continue reading “A Teaspoon Of Love, Compassion, and Kindness?” →

Ending The Inner Battle Against Myself

So here I am. Sitting behind the wheel of my life. The ultimate road trip. There is no final destination entered into the GPS because, well, life simply doesn’t work that way. You know where you started, you know where you are, you may even know where you want to go, yet life has a way of unfolding so you’re just never 100% sure of exactly where you’re going.

Who’s with me on this ride of my life?

Me.

All of the different versions of me.

The different versions of me? Sure. There’s the Optimist Me. The Uncertain Me. The Fearful Me. The highly-caffeinated Excitable Me. The Grateful Me. The Regretful Me. The Deeply Introspective and Spiritual Me. The Overwhelmed Me. The Unworthy Me.

Lots of different parts of Me.

Each of these parts of me has their own unique voice, their own unique perspective shaped by environment and experience. Certain voices, though, were not always welcomed at the table. I worked hard to keep some of them repressed. When certain parts of you are silenced and ignored by you it creates a fertile breeding ground for your own inner civil war.

Life has been a non-linear meandering journey of learning and unlearning, of trying to understand and to be understood. Of trying Continue reading “Ending The Inner Battle Against Myself” →

The Most Important Valentine Of All

It probably would never work.

My idea for a new holiday.

It would be like Valentine’s Day, but the focus wouldn’t be on expressing our love towards a significant other.

It would be on expressing our love towards our significant self.

It often feels so much easier to extend love outward than it does inward, doesn’t it? To shower others with the cards and the candy and the flowers and the fancy dinners. But to shower our self with such objects of affection?

Probably not.

It’s too bad. Because we are equally worthy to receive from ourself the same love we are far more comfortable giving to others.

Perhaps when asking others to be your Valentine, maybe you could ask yourself as well?

Self love is never optional.

Photo by DESIGNECOLOGIST on Unsplash

Self Image And The Validity Of Limitations

It was anything but a graceful fall from grace. On some level I knew it was supposed to happen. So, on a different level I made it happen.

I was playing well above my head and my head knew it. I had climbed a bit too high on the corporate ladder, higher than I felt I should have. So I did what I needed to do to keep me aligned with the vision I had created for myself by my self.

We often blame self sabotage as the reason we crash and burn, how we at times seemingly act in ways which undermine what we feel are our best efforts to grow and change. Career, diet, and relationships are all prime ares where despite our best efforts we end up working against ourselves.

In order to keep ourself our self.

Do we really see ourself as being that successful? Of being in that great physical shape? Of being in a healthy relationship?

No, it’s not really sabotage. All we are doing is self regulating, returning to who it is we believe ourselves to be. Realigning with that all-powerful inner vision which controls and regulates what we subconsciously feel is possible for us. We get what we expect Continue reading “Self Image And The Validity Of Limitations” →

Controlling The Uncontrollable Mind

Perhaps your mind is like my mind?

My ever-distracted and noisy mind. Like an ultra-hyper new puppy. Like a sleep-deprived kid on a sugar high the day after Halloween bouncing off the walls.

And I’m supposed to be able to control that?

No wonder I sucked at meditation.

Maybe what sucked was my understanding of meditation.

I’d gotten quite consistent with my meditation practice. Showing up daily is kind of important if we hope to get better at doing just about anything. I’d set my timer, sit on my meditation bench, close my eyes, focus on my breath, and waited in silence for my own version of enlightenment to overtake me and bring me peace.

Instead my peace was consistently interrupted as those random thoughts relentlessly popped into my mind. “Did I pay the insurance?” “Why does my knee hurt?” “Why do these thoughts keep showing up?” As one would fade away another showed up close behind. Like a parade, a seemingly never-ending parade of thoughts doing all they could do to prevent peace from finding me.

I was wrong about meditation. I thought it was supposed to help me control my mind. I thought it was about creating the mental and emotional toughness to suppress and silence the noise in my head.

Sitting on my meditation bench each morning, I now fully expect my mind to be anything but quiet, especially initially.

But the important lesson is in the noise itself.

As I observe the active patterns of my thoughts, I am reminded of their impermanence. No matter how loudly they may scream, no Continue reading “Controlling The Uncontrollable Mind” →

Or Will You Be Just Another Year Older?

One year from today is going to happen.

A lot can happen in the next 365 days. Or, nothing can happen in the next 365 days.

Those hopes and dreams, that big idea, the goals and intentions?

The person you tell yourself you want to become?

Not gonna happen on their own.

Time really doesn’t care what you do with it. It doesn’t care about those hopes and dreams and the person you tell yourself you want to become.

One year from today you can be one year closer to living a life more aligned with your purpose and vision. Or you can remain dormant and wonder where the hell the past year went.

One year from today, will you be more than just another year older?

Photo by Kate Williams on Unsplash

The Power of Surrender and Release

A beach day in January.

It’s my annual tradition.

East Beach in Westport. Around the the start of a new year I make my way here. Only at low tide will this beach reveal the limited amount of sand which exists on this narrow stretch of shore. This beach is mostly rocks and stones, each uniquely shaped and weathered by the power of the crashing waves they are constantly subjected to.

I come here to release. To release the things I choose not to carry with me into a new year. Emotional things. Like anger, doubt, fear, resentment, hurt, regret, frustration, bitterness…

Self awareness is a wonderful gift. Over the years I’ve gotten quite good at knowing me and accepting me. Compassionately. There is no good, bad, nor ugly. There just is. I’ve learned to just be aware of what I’m feeling and not judging myself for feeling what I feel. I know what I am carrying within me, and when I decide I don’t want to carry that emotional heaviness any longer I come here.

To throw it away.

Literally.

My “methodology” is rather crude and simple. A stone and a Sharpie. As I walk on the rocky shore I simply pick up a stone, Continue reading “The Power of Surrender and Release” →

But, Why?

New year. New goals. New intentions.

Old results?

I tend to take my new years quite seriously. As someone who has often meandered aimlessly in life, it was only recently that I started taking the gift of time quite seriously. I’ve wasted a lot of time in life trying to figure out what to do with the time I’ve been given to live my life.

Through the years I’ve refined my system of getting ready for a new year. I gather the hopes and dreams and wishes, compile lists of things I tell myself I want to do and experience, both personally and professionally. And then I ask myself one question for each of these items.

“Why?”

If I can’t find a good reason why I should commit to a goal I know that I probably shouldn’t. It won’t end well.

Knowing me, I need to understand the motivation behind the desire. If I tell myself I want to run my first marathon, I’ve learned to Continue reading “But, Why?” →

Owning The Emptiness and The Permission To Grieve

Who knew that turkey gravy could be an emotional trigger?

My mom elevated turkey gravy to unprecedented levels. Flour, drippings, a little bit of this, a little bit of that. Pure magic.

I could drink her gravy by the bowl.

These days, making the gravy is my responsibility. Even with the same ingredients, try as I might I’ve yet to replicate her level of mastery. Maybe it’s a Mom thing?

This past Thanksgiving was the second one without Mom. She had long retired from cooking on Thanksgiving, but now she is no longer at the table with us.

I always think of her when I make the gravy. I can still see her at the stove with the metal whisk in her hand effortlessly beating the ingredients into a cohesive submission as the flames danced up the sides of the sauce pan. Not a measuring spoon in sight. She just knew.

It’s always an emotional time for me.

It’s a process, grieving is. A personal process. A non-linear often unpredictable process, often without an end date.

Often processed alone.

There is no one “right” way to grieve. No one “right” way to get to the other side of the pain. I’m not even sure if there is another side to get to.

Often we don’t understand why the hurt still hurts, why the emptiness still feels so empty. Especially when we try to convince Continue reading “Owning The Emptiness and The Permission To Grieve” →

Do You Want More Of What You’re Feeling?

10:01 AM.

The iPhone vibrates.

It’s a message.

From me.

To me.

“Do you want more of what you’re feeling?”

I schedule this to happen three times per day. And each time the alarm goes off, this question appears on my screen.

“Do you want more of what you’re feeling?”

It’s become an important question I ask of myself.

In order for me to know the honest answer to this question, I must stop for a moment and notice what I am actually feeling.

How am I doing? Happy? Sad? Angry? Indifferent? Stressed? Peaceful? Anxious?

Before I started asking myself this question, for the most part I never really knew how I was doing. The days would sort of run their course, meandering through various emotional and vibrational peaks and valleys, with me obliviously reacting to it all.

Feelings are important barometers because we tend to get more of what we are feeling. Angry Pete would find more things to be angry about, and the Peaceful Pete would effortlessly find more peace. Feelings have their own energetic vibration, and in a world greatly influenced by energetic vibration we get back more of what we are radiating outward.

Prompting me to check in with me shows me the path I am on. Most times I do want more of what I’m feeling. Occasionally, though, this momentary look into myself tells me that no, I don’t want more of what I’m feeling. Without judging myself harshly if I find myself misaligned from how I want to feel. I notice. I investigate. I adjust, if I desire to. It’s usually a quick process, but there are times when I need to go deeper and stay with the unwanted feelings, try and understand why they are there, and lovingly Continue reading “Do You Want More Of What You’re Feeling?” →

Peter Mis LivingHalfFull.com

Lessons From A Life Unfolding