It was anything but a graceful fall from grace. On some level I knew it was supposed to happen. So, on a different level I made it happen.
I was playing well above my head and my head knew it. I had climbed a bit too high on the corporate ladder, higher than I felt I should have. So I did what I needed to do to keep me aligned with the vision I had created for myself by my self.
We often blame self sabotage as the reason we crash and burn, how we at times seemingly act in ways which undermine what we feel are our best efforts to grow and change. Career, diet, and relationships are all prime ares where despite our best efforts we end up working against ourselves.
In order to keep ourself our self.
Do we really see ourself as being that successful? Of being in that great physical shape? Of being in a healthy relationship?
No, it’s not really sabotage. All we are doing is self regulating, returning to who it is we believe ourselves to be. Realigning with that all-powerful inner vision which controls and regulates what we subconsciously feel is possible for us. We get what we expect to get, no matter how much we tell ourselves we want something else.
Deep inside of us, underneath all the noise, is a powerful voice. Over the years, that voice has collected and processed millions of thoughts about us and our experiences and with that has formed an identity which we have accepted about ourselves. We evolve into who we are one decision at a time, consciously or unconsciously. Experience and our environment shape us, like our own unique inner algorithm endlessly calculating and reaffirming. Self sabotage is nothing more than that voice inside of us auto correcting what it sees and works to bring us back in line with who we tell ourselves we really are.
The subconscious is my daddy. It owns me.
It owns all of us.
Change it and you can change anything.
But nothing will ever really change unless it does.
Changing who we believe ourselves to be starts with understanding that our subconscious is where this change must first take place. For me, that required stepping back and looking into me. Monitoring my thoughts and emotions, especially in the areas where I was hoping to change. What was I saying to myself when my performance wasn’t where I wanted it to be? What was I saying to myself when my performance exceeded what I thought it should be? Was I reinforcing the limits I had spent a lifetime unconsciously setting for myself? Were my habits and actions also aligned with those limitations? Even if I told myself I wanted a different result?
We can consciously tell ourselves we want love, but if we subconsciously believe we are not worthy of receiving it then we probably won’t. Because we will continue to act in the ways we subconsciously believe ourselves to be. If we want to earn more money, if we want to hit certain physical fitness goals…the process is the same. We will always bring ourselves back to who it is we accept ourselves to be.
Much of my own personal grow has come from challenging the limiting beliefs I’ve held about myself. Many of my limitations were inherited. I perpetuated them, gave them solid form and brought them to life, unconsciously shaping my life in the process.
But I learned to question the validity of my limitations. Where did they come from? Who gave them to me? Are they true? In questioning the validity of my limitations I was able to weaken them because I could not find any evidence to support their validity.
That’s helped me to change what I consciously and subconsciously believe to be possible for me. It’s helping me to reshape my self identity. I’ve not yet figured it all out. I’m still very much a work in progress, and expect that work will never quite be done. But I know where the work needs to be done.
The subconscious doesn’t care about the kind of life we want to live. But it will greatly impact the life we do live.
What would you find if you questioned your limitations?
Photo by Andras Vas on Unsplash
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