Have You Ever Thought About What You Are Thinking?

Have You Ever Thought About What You Are Thinking?

The young boy at the carnival looked confused. He was expecting his prize at the end of the ring toss game. But the prize was not forthcoming. Though unsuccessful in his attempt, he was told there’s a winner every time. Perplexed, the boy confronted the game operator. The unscrupulous response: “Yes, kid, there is a winner every time…and most of the time it’s me.”

Winning is an outcome, a result. Some days the results go our way and some days they don’t. Regardless of the result, an outcome has been determined and a winner has been crowned.

Life is full of outcomes, and while we focus on the larger wins and losses in life, one area which produces thousands of outcomes each day and so greatly impacts us is so often overlooked:

Our thoughts.

Every thought we have produces an outcome. The thoughts we have each day either Continue reading “Have You Ever Thought About What You Are Thinking?”

Perhaps You’re Just Not Ready To Love Yourself?

Perhaps You’re Just Not Ready To Love Yourself?

It sounds rather simple.

And it should be quite easy.

But in reality it’s often a very difficult thing to do.

Loving yourself.

After all, how could you love you? You know everything about you, the good and the bad. Especially the bad. There are no secrets in your relationship with yourself. And that little voice in your head is always quite good at reminding you of your mistakes, regrets, and shortcomings. How could you possibly love such a person?

Maybe love is too big of a first step.

Good relationships take time, especially if that relationship is between you and you. My Continue reading “Perhaps You’re Just Not Ready To Love Yourself?”

Are You Feeding The Stray Dogs of Doubt?

Are You Feeding The Stray Dogs of Doubt?

They show up all the time, don’t they?

You know, those nagging thoughts of doubt, weakness, and unworthiness. Like stray dogs who keep showing up looking to be fed.

Because we just keep feeding them.

Minds, like stray dogs, habitually know where to go. It’s a matter of training and conditioning, and we’ve spent a lifetime training and conditioning our minds to respond to life’s challenges the way we do.

This can be either good or bad, depending on the thoughts we keep feeding.

Our thoughts are really an extension of what our expectations are for ourselves in any given moment. Those who expect good things will usually find them, while those who don’t expect things to go their way are usually never surprised when they don’t.

Certainly, our life experience greatly impacts our expectations. But the most powerful Continue reading “Are You Feeding The Stray Dogs of Doubt?”

The Duplicitous Nature of Compassion

The Duplicitous Nature of Compassion

What is the one gift we are so willing to give to others yet seldom give to ourselves?

Love.

Most of us would think nothing of offering a kind heart to others in need, especially to those closest to us. We’d readily be available to a distressed friend, offering our unconditional love, support, and encouragement, even if all we could provide was a shoulder to cry on. We’d do whatever we could to help them up.

Would you be willing to treat yourself the same way?

When it comes to ourselves we often create a cruel double standard. Somehow we believe others are more worthy of our love and compassion than we are. We support our friends during their times of emotional need yet when we could really use a friend of our own we are nowhere to be found. Instead of picking ourselves up, how often do we beat ourselves down, reminding ourselves of our own perceived shortcomings and all Continue reading “The Duplicitous Nature of Compassion”

Who Needs To Change For You To Find Your Peace and Happiness?

Who Needs To Change For You To Find Your Peace and Happiness?

Surely the world would be much easier for me to navigate if everyone lived and acted in ways which made my life more like I hoped it would be.

But we all know it doesn’t quite work that way.

You can wait a very long time if you’re waiting for the world to change.

How often do we look at people, events, and situations and wish they were different from how they actually are, hoping they would change to better accommodate our growth or happiness? We point to them as the reason for our inner frustrations and unhappiness. Somehow we’ve come to view them as variables which can be changed and manipulated, for our benefit, only to become more frustrated when they don’t.

The people whom we wish would change are actually more like constants. Mathematically, constants are known values, already defined and unchanging. In relationships we can often view ourselves as the constants, unchangeable nor should Continue reading “Who Needs To Change For You To Find Your Peace and Happiness?”

The 3 Most Important Things To Be Grateful For

The 3 Most Important Things To Be Grateful For

I used to have a real issue with gratitude. Especially when life wasn’t going my way. When I was frustrated or disappointed, logically I knew things could always be worse than the way they were. But logic is often no match for the emotional.

When others would sense my frustrations they would offer their compassion and empathetically remind me things, in fact, could always be worse. Which would really piss me off. Because they didn’t really understand MY problem or MY situation. Being grateful for life not being worse than I thought it was still didn’t get me to where I Continue reading “The 3 Most Important Things To Be Grateful For”

The Modern Guide for Hating Other Humans

The Modern Guide for Hating Other Humans

Hate needs a makeover.

I’m not a big fan of hate. Or of hateful people. But out of fairness, as a society we haven’t done a great job teaching people the proper way to hate others, have we?

None of us are born haters. Hate is something we learn rather informally, often influenced by those who guide us though our formative years. The people who teach us how to hate have no course syllabus or Powerpoint presentations to ensure we are doing it the “right” way. Rather, we become unsuspecting apprentices, watching and listening to the actions and words of those who we look up to and someday hope to make proud. Hate can be passed from one generation to the next just as easily as the color of someone’s eyes. Continue reading “The Modern Guide for Hating Other Humans”