Category: present moment

Compliance Is Vastly Overrated

Compliance Is Vastly Overrated

I had no intention of complying with the request I knew she was about to make.

Sitting in a large auditorium and it is Awards Night. Many area schools have gathered together to celebrate both individual and ensemble outstanding music theatre performances from this year’s season. As the host began to announce the award recipients she did ask the audience to please old all applause until after all the names have been called.

I’m sorry, but when they call your kids name there is no way I’m gonna keep my mouth shut.

And I didn’t.

I wasn’t being defiant. I was allowing myself to celebrate a moment, a special moment, giving myself the space to instinctively express the joy such a special moment had brought me. Fully present, fully human, raw, authentic, and unfiltered.

I’ve held my applause for most of my life. The special moments weren’t special enough, I guess. Or maybe I didn’t allow myself to be present long enough to notice. My always searching for something else made what was special somehow unexcitedly ordinary, not worthy of celebration. I told myself I’d celebrate when I finally got to wherever it was I felt I needed to go. I never got there because that space never actually existed outside of me.

When I allow myself to be present and simply notice the world around me, I see life is actually full of special moments worthy to be applauded. Some spectacular, some mundane. All for me to define if I chose to. All for me to experience if I allow myself the presence required to do so. 

Fully present, fully human, raw, authentic, and unfiltered.

Kinda feels a bit defiant, doesn’t it?

Compliance is vastly overrated.

Working Against Your Own Inner Peace

Working Against Your Own Inner Peace

“The inner emotional battlefield is dramatically different when you’re no longer fighting against yourself.”

If consistency is good, I guess I’ve gotten good at being more mindful. With intention and practice I’ve grown much more self aware of where I am emotionally and energetically. My morning meditation has played an important role in me getting myself reset and grounded as I start my new day. 

It’s become a daily ritual whose benefits are often undermined by others longstanding daily rituals.

Feeling a bit tired and lethargic, a little over a month ago I voluntarily entered into my own beverage detox program. No coffee, no tea, no soda, no energy drinks. All I’ve been drinking is water. And it’s not because I don’t like caffeine and sugary drinks. 

I just don’t like what they do to me.

Much of my “inner work” has been about me trying to find an emotional equilibrium. Of trying to get to emotionally firm ground and to be better at managing the inevitable peaks and valleys of Continue reading “Working Against Your Own Inner Peace” →

The Only Place I Am Is There

The Only Place I Am Is There

“One time, one meeting.”

It was mesmerizing. The color. The lines. The contrast. It was one of those photos I wish I had taken myself. But I didn’t need to own it to be able to fully enjoy it.

I just needed to see it.

Quite often I find myself alone in nature. A short hike though the woods, a long walk on a winter’s beach. The isolation is restorative and at some point I will inevitably attempt to capture the beauty of the natural world surrounding me in a photograph.

Looking through the view finder takes me to a place I’ve spent much of my life trying to find. The present moment. In the view finder a moment is frozen. I scan everything before pressing the button. The lines, the light, the color, the texture, the noise. Every detail in front of me is seen and assessed. I can adjust or decide to capture it exactly as it is. But in that moment, the only place I am is there.

When you discover the present moment you also discover how fleeting it is. 

“Ichigo ichie” is a Japanese expression often translated to mean “one time, one meeting”. This and every moment is a singular moment in time. It cannot be relived exactly as it was. Therein lies its Continue reading “The Only Place I Am Is There” →

A Faceful Of Wisdom

A Faceful Of Wisdom

“We have a winner!”

Spending a few days in Maine we decided to include a stop at the 9th Annual Wild Blueberry Festival in Gray. And what’s a Wild Blueberry Festival without a blueberry pie eating contest.

In a scene reminiscent of a Hallmark movie I found myself in a small idyllic New England town standing at a table with nine others, hands behind our backs and blueberry pies inches from our faces awaiting the word to begin. When all was said and done, I turned my pie-stained face upwards to see the judge pointing at me declaring me the winner of the competition. 

I won a blueberry pie eating contest. In Maine.

The grand prize included a four-pack of locally bottled blueberry soda and, more importantly, bragging rights.

As I wiped my face clean from the blueberries and crust embedded in my scruffy facial hair, I was asked if the pie actually tasted good.

I hadn’t really noticed.

Granted, the goal of a pie eating contest is to consume what’s in front of you faster than the others at the table. Devouring an 8 inch pie in 61 seconds didn’t leave room the evaluate the quality of the pie. It was all about speed.

On the hours-long drive home, still basking in the glory of my unexpected victory, I started thinking about speed. As in the pace of life. As in how much of life I may have missed being too Continue reading “A Faceful Of Wisdom” →

When There’s Nothing To Look Forward To

When There’s Nothing To Look Forward To

The future has always been a utopian distraction from the present. The future is where hopes and dreams and aspirations all reside, a perfect escape from the mundane nature of where we can find ourselves right now.

But what if there was nothing to look forward to?

Could I be at peace, at least for a moment, if all there was in my life was that which was already around me?

I’ve been a runner most of my life, running from what was towards what I wanted it to be, only to be consistently disappointed when I got there. Undeterred, I’d then find something else to run toward, convinced that this time would be different while intuitively knowing the disappointment would be waiting for me when I got there.

And it always was.

You can never outrun the present moment, no matter how good you are at running.

When we’re focused solely on the future we do so at the expense of the present. When our Continue reading “When There’s Nothing To Look Forward To” →