The Physics Of Disappointment

The Physics Of Disappointment

Perhaps you, too, have something in common with a tyrannical mythological king?

When you manage to anger the gods, they do manage to come up with some rather unusual punishments. Especially in Greek mythology. Especially if your name is Sisyphus. 

Sisyphus was a tyrannical king whose misguided actions earned him an eternity of rolling an immense stone up a steep hill only to have the stone roll back down the hill as he got close to the top. And when it hit the bottom, once again he’d push that stone back up the hill until it rolled back down yet again. Yes, for eternity. Pushing the same rock up the same hill repeatedly, always with the same results. A rather cruel way to spend the remainder of forever.

I’ve had my share of pushing things up hills. Of pushing rocks up hills only to discover they were the wrong rocks being pushed up the wrong hills. Pushing, hoping that maybe this time the results would be different, that maybe if I simply got better at pushing the wrong situations, relationships, or needed outcomes up the hills of my life this time would finally yield the results I desired.

And they never did. 

Expecting different results from doing the exact same thing never produces different results. The physics of disappointment. Yet how often do we continue to push and hope, forcing what shouldn’t be forced and sentencing ourself to a lifetime of our own self-induced futility in the process.

Often we know we are pushing the wrong rock up the wrong hill, but we continue to push because that’s all we’ve ever known to do. We accept and expect the struggle because it’s always been a struggle, as if some fate we’ve been made to carry as we navigate the challenges of life. 

Sisyphus never controlled his fate. He was given the one stone to continuously push up that one mountain. Forever.

We, though, get to decide what we are willing to push and where we are willing to push it to. And while we may be habitually inclined to keep doing what we’ve always been doing, we simply don’t have to keep doing what habitually has never worked.

It doesn’t have to be a struggle.

Maybe it’s time to stop pushing those wrong stones up those wrong hills?

Photo by Valeriia Miller on Unsplash

Embracing The Momentum of Accomplishment

Embracing The Momentum of Accomplishment

Yesterday I ran my first-ever 5k road race. In the grand scheme of things, running a 5k race is far from a major accomplishment. But in the grand scheme of my things it was.

“I suck at running.” That’s what I told myself for years, and it served as the perfect rationale for why I shouldn’t even bother trying. Over a year ago I had purchased some expensive shoes and some high-tech clothing designed to keep me dry. What I couldn’t purchase was the motivation to really try.

I went out a few times. My legs hurt. I would often speak to God, asking for the strength and stamina to get to the next telephone pole. Yes, I guess I really wasn’t good at running and now I had some current data to base my conclusion upon.

A couple of months ago I revisited running. This time I brought a better attitude on the road with me. I’d been reflecting upon life and noticed a pattern where I’d enthusiastically jump into a new hobby or activity and then slowly watch the excitement fade away. The dust-covered guitars hanging on the wall were daily reminders. It was time to lace up the Asics and decide once and for all if Continue reading “Embracing The Momentum of Accomplishment”

Karma the Boomerang Meets Grace the Stick

Karma the Boomerang Meets Grace the Stick

“He’ll get what’s coming to him someday.”

I overheard this in a conversation at a store today. Apparently this person was rather upset with another person, but at the same time she seemed to take some comfort in her gleeful anticipation of his impending demise.

In the world of Karma, what goes around comes around. And this person just couldn’t wait for Karma to settle the score. As if Karma was some sort of big brother thug with a baseball bat about to smash the headlights out of this guy’s pickup truck.

Karma is a force in this world for sure. It’s a magnetic energy of attraction with a “give and you shall receive” tattoo on it’s bicep. I, Continue reading “Karma the Boomerang Meets Grace the Stick”

How Would You Answer This One Question From God?

How Would You Answer This One Question From God?

We all love to see a sign from God.

But perhaps you may have overlooked the most obvious sign of all.

You.

So often our search for peace, love, and happiness leads us on a journey away from ourselves. We look for the favorable circumstances which will allow us to be happy. We look for a soul mate to complete us. We seek the spiritual in the material, coming up disappointed every time. In the process we pray God will send us some sort of reassuring sign of hope and guidance leading us to that place of peace Continue reading “How Would You Answer This One Question From God?”

Finding Perfection in Imperfect Places

Finding Perfection in Imperfect Places

I’ve found Perfection.

It’s in Nevada.

A Google search tells me about a place called Perfection, Nevada. I imagine that living in a place called Perfection would be quite special. Immediately the mind paints a picture of a place where everything is exactly how I imagine it should be.

Apparently, though, Perfection, Nevada doesn’t really exist. It is the name of a fictitious town in the 1990 movie Tremors. And the place where everything is exactly how I imagine it should be? That place doesn’t really exist, either.

Perfection is perhaps the cruelest of all expectations. It allows us to place unrealistic Continue reading “Finding Perfection in Imperfect Places”

Could Happiness Be This Simple?

Could Happiness Be This Simple?

Sometimes we are waiting on the world to live up to our expectations for how we think the world should be. And when the world doesn’t, we feel justified in our unhappiness, quite comfortable in blaming the world and those in it for all we believe to be missing in our life.

Perhaps, though, the only thing really missing in our life is our appreciation of it?

It’s a great day to be you!

Two Beers, The Truth, And A Little Thing Called Destiny

Two Beers, The Truth, And A Little Thing Called Destiny

In the name of science, take two beers from the same six pack. Place one on the counter and the other in the refrigerator. Return in 60 minutes and you’ll find the temperature of both beers have been greatly influenced by the environment in which they’ve been immersed in over the past hour.

Hardly ground-breaking, Nobel-quality science when you prove the obvious. But the obvious outcome is something which may not be obvious when looking at the emotional and psychological influence our environment has upon our lives.

The basic principles of equilibrium empowers the dominant temperature of any environment to extend it’s influence over that which is makes up it’s environment. This holds true for temperature, but in human terms it also holds true for environments filled with negativity, stress, uncertainty, and doubt. Left unchecked, we can unwittingly allow any dominant negative energies around us to Continue reading “Two Beers, The Truth, And A Little Thing Called Destiny”

Becoming Your Own Mother

Becoming Your Own Mother

When I think of motherhood, the one word which comes to mind is love. Actually, I need two words…

Unconditional love.

I’ve felt it as a son, and I see it in my wife’s eyes as we raise our three daughters.

Unconditional love isn’t always pretty. It is often loud, sometimes quite contentious. Sometimes it doesn’t even feel like love at all.

But underneath the drama and the slamming doors, the love of a mother is always there.

Continue reading “Becoming Your Own Mother”

If The Voices In Your Head Were People Would You Want Them To Be Your Friends?

If The Voices In Your Head Were People Would You Want Them To Be Your Friends?

Perhaps you’re trapped in a toxic relationship?

With yourself?

Lately I’ve been doing a great deal of listening to the voices in my head. Voices, as in the thoughts which keep all of us company each day. It’s amazing how much noise there is in your head when you can stop and listen. So many thoughts shooting off in so many different directions, sort of like exploding kernels pinging the side of the pot when popping corn on the stove top.

One of the most important lessons I’ve learned is life is all about the quality of your responses to the situations and events you encounter in life. What I’ve been listening for are my instinctive thoughts when situations don’t turn out exactly as I had planned. In the Continue reading “If The Voices In Your Head Were People Would You Want Them To Be Your Friends?”

Surviving A Near-Life Experience

Surviving A Near-Life Experience

Imagine it’s the end of your life. You stop, turn to take one final glance back at what was, and then it hits you.

You’ve missed it.

Your life is over and you’ve missed it.

Ouch.

It’s not that you weren’t here physically. You showed up everyday and did the things you needed to do to get through the day. But today was just like yesterday and the day before and the day before that.

Alive. But not quite living.

A near-life experience.

I’ve had periods of my life exactly like that. I remember the younger lost, angry version of me, so focused on what I felt was missing I never acknowledged what I already had. I Continue reading “Surviving A Near-Life Experience”