Is It Safe For Me To Talk About Mental Health?

Life certainly has it’s share of pain, doesn’t it?

May is National Mental Health Awareness Month. One of the goals of NMHA Month is to hopefully provide a safe space for uncomfortable conversations around mental and emotional health. The unfortunate stigmas surrounding mental health often prevent any conversations from even getting started. That silence keeps us suffering…alone. Alone with the pain and the hurt and the anxiety and isolation we may be experiencing.

That silence, at times, can even end lives.

That’s how I lost my brother Steve.

As a man, I was taught to keep my emotions to myself. I think most men have been told or shown the same. Expressing emotions is a sign of weakness, they’d say. “Real” men simply “suck it up” or “deal with it” or are told to “man up”. Manhood and emotions don’t mix, I was told. Generational stigma often keeps us from even admitting that we are struggling, let alone actually seeking some help and guidance. And while I’ve only experienced this from my male perspective, mental health stigma is not gender specific.

Mental and emotional health challenges quietly impact every section of our society.

The silence perpetuates the stigma.

This stigma needs to end.

There are many of us dealing with the heaviness life sometimes forces us to carry…the loss, the anxiety, the uncertainty, the unhealed traumas, the emotional scars, the pressure, the unmet needs and expectations, the feelings of doubt and unworthiness, of being accepted as we are. The heaviness often hidden behind the facades of some beautiful smiles and jovial personalities.

Life teaches us many things, but learning to deal with the weight of life is something we’re usually forced to figure out on our own. Often we will try and simply minimize the pain we feel. Others, we “rationalize”, have it much worse than we do as we attempt to invalidate our pain. But our pains and hurts and traumas need never be justified. They exist. If we feel them then they are real, regardless of what else is going on in the world. If we minimize them, all we are doing is suppressing them, and the suppressed pains always find a way back to the surface eventually.

They seldom simply go away by themselves.

I see Mental Health Awareness Month as a great opportunity for me to proactively begin a dialog with those closest to me, no matter how unfamiliar and uncomfortable such conversations may feel. It’s an opportunity to remind me to simply check in and touch base, to simply call or text and let them know I’m thinking about them. To remind them I’m here for them, to support them. Because you just don’t know what others are going through. You just don’t know what may be weighing them down.

Maybe checking in is something we can all do for each other?

Check in with the “strong” ones. Often the “strong” ones are strong because they feel they have to be, sort of their way of attempting to rise above the weight of their pain. Check in with the “quiet” ones, the ones who’ve been less available and less accessible than usual. And those who tell you they’re “fine” are usually anything but. “I’m fine” is a way to answer the “How are you doing?” question without having to actually answer it.

I’m not a therapist nor am I a mental health professional so I do not offer any professional advice or guidance here. But I am a fellow human who can always offer a voice of kindness, compassion, and encouragement to another human.

And don’t forget to check in on the most important person in your life. You. How are you doing? How does your life feel? Perhaps you’re feeling overwhelmed or anxious, or simply not feeling like your usual self. Is there someone you could reach out to, a friend or colleague, and let them know how you’ve been feeling?

Ask. Reach out. Help is always available. Compassionate voices are willing to listen and guide you while creating a safe space for you in the process.

Don’t let stigmas prevent you from seeking out those compassionate and understanding voices who will guide you through whatever it is you are going through.

Struggle, at times, feels inevitable.

But there is no need to struggle alone.

Let’s take care of each other, shall we?

Sending love and peace to all…

Photo by Sinitta Leunen on Unsplash