It’s a tough conversation. Because you know they’re the one responsible for how things turned out. They’re the one who fell short of what could have been. It’s a tough conversation because of who this person actually is.
We hold ourselves to such alarmingly high standards, don’t we? We can be relentless at times, honestly. And when we get caught in a cycle of disappointment or regret we can poison ourselves with the venom of blame and anger.
What is it that you need to hear from you? Are you able to release yourself from the heaviness of the burdens you’ve placed upon yourself? Because their weight is something you’ve no need to carry. Are you able to look at your younger self and understand that you did the best you could at the time? Because you did. Are you able to forgive yourself for falling short of the unrealistic expectations you’ve often set for yourself? Because forgiveness changes your relationship with you.
Only you can make peace with you. Only you can move you past your past and onto some solid emotional footing to move you forward and into who you now know you really are.
A tough conversation.
But it could be one which sets you free.
What is it that you need to hear from you?
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash
What if John and Paul were right?
What if all we need is love?
I’ve often dismissed the premise as being overly simplistic. Life can be extremely challenging sometimes. But I’m starting to think they were on to something.
When I look at the world, where wouldn’t love make a difference? Imagine any crisis or strife anywhere in the world. Wouldn’t love make so many of these situations dramatically better, perhaps even eliminate them completely? Isn’t the absence of love the root cause of most of these situations to begin with?
Look at the relationships in your life. Wouldn’t unconditional love make them better and stronger? Wouldn’t unconditional love allow us to accept others as they are and others to accept us as we are? Wouldn’t others also feel a greater sense of peace from feeling a greater sense of love?
Look at your relationship with yourself. What would your life look and feel like if you lovingly allowed yourself the space to be you, without judgement or condition? Isn’t it the absence of love which prevents us from being patient, forgiving, and supportive of ourselves?
Where wouldn’t more love make a difference?
Often our well-intentioned search to find answers to life’s deepest questions can take us down a long and winding road. Our problems are big and therefore demand big solutions.
Or do they?
Maybe it’s not as complicated as we can sometimes make it out to be.
Maybe all we really need is love?
It’s a great day to be you!
There’s a reason you’ve never seen a sunflower plant in any image depicting the North Pole.
Sunflowers don’t grow there.
Plants are at the mercy of their environment. The proper soil, the mix of nutrients, the amount of water, temperature, and sunshine can mean life or death to a plant. So many external variables impact their viability and growth.
And there’s not a single thing a plant can do about it.
As humans, we, too, are greatly impacted by the environments we find ourselves in. Some environments are conducive to growth and thriving, while others will never let us Continue reading “Picking Sunflowers in the North Pole”
Surely the world would be much easier for me to navigate if everyone lived and acted in ways which made my life more like I hoped it would be.
But we all know it doesn’t quite work that way.
You can wait a very long time if you’re waiting for the world to change.
How often do we look at people, events, and situations and wish they were different from how they actually are, hoping they would change to better accommodate our growth or happiness? We point to them as the reason for our inner frustrations and unhappiness. Somehow we’ve come to view them as variables which can be changed and manipulated, for our benefit, only to become more frustrated when they don’t.
The people whom we wish would change are actually more like constants. Mathematically, constants are known values, already defined and unchanging. In relationships we can often view ourselves as the constants, unchangeable nor should Continue reading “Who Needs To Change For You To Find Your Peace and Happiness?”
I used to have a real issue with gratitude. Especially when life wasn’t going my way. When I was frustrated or disappointed, logically I knew things could always be worse than the way they were. But logic is often no match for the emotional.
When others would sense my frustrations they would offer their compassion and empathetically remind me things, in fact, could always be worse. Which would really piss me off. Because they didn’t really understand MY problem or MY situation. Being grateful for life not being worse than I thought it was still didn’t get me to where I Continue reading “The 3 Most Important Things To Be Grateful For”
As a kid, one of the best parts of my birthday was receiving birthday cards from my uncles and grandparents. Especially those cards designed specifically to hold cash. In all honesty, it was never about the card; I was really only excited about what was in the card.
It wasn’t a lot of money, but it was money. Just because I was born!
The rule back then was quite simple. You picked up the phone and called to thank the elders who sent the cash your way. Failure to acknowledge their generosity was a sure-fired way to get on the Ungrateful List. Kids on the Ungrateful List usually never saw those cards designed specifically to hold cash ever again.
I was happy to receive the cash, and always made the thank you calls. But my gratitude was laced with self-serving elements. I wanted to ensure Continue reading “The True Gift Of Gratitude”
“Dude…they look weird!”
On a recent trip to Whole Foods I was intrigued by the conflicting comments of two young teens. They had just stopped to look at a display of heirloom tomatoes. One offered his “they look weird” opinion while the other thought they looked “pretty cool”. Funny how two people can look at the exact same tomatoes and see two completely different things.
Which made me wonder…Is there a correlation between what you see when you look at heirloom tomatoes and how you see yourself?
Heirloom tomatoes look dramatically different than what we’ve come to know as traditional tomatoes. Traditional tomatoes are engineered for consistency of size, shape, color, and texture, mass produced to meet the needs of millions. Heirlooms are far more individually Continue reading “What A Tomato Can Teach You About Loving Yourself”
“Comparison is an act of violence against the self.” – Iyanla Vanzant
In the wake of Prince’s passing the radio was filled with his music. While I was listening to an online radio station, the host was mentioning how great Prince was as a composer, musician, and a performance artist. As the host continued he felt the need to introduce one additional element into the conversation…
Perhaps it was the combination of the host’s love for Prince and the still-fresh news of his death, but the conversation went from how great Prince was to a conversation about how much greater Prince was as compared to others. Actually, it wasn’t a conversation. It felt more like a sermon…the host speaking with Biblical certainty as he told the world how much greater Continue reading “Prince, Green Beans, and the Breeding Ground of Misery”
You are beautiful.
You are unlimited.
And you matter.
Perhaps you’ve forgotten this. Please let me remind you.
Or worse yet, you don’t believe it.
Please let me convince you.
Life gets busy and often the importance of perspective gets lost as we just try and make it through another day. Daily demands and prioritizing others often means you never get around to taking care of the most important person in your life.
Here, in no particular order, are seven thoughts to contemplate in hopes you’ll take the a few moments to reconnect with this beautiful person you call you.
Beautiful isn’t something you become, its something you already are. Walk through any supermarket check-out and you are inundated with the latest fashion and lifestyle magazines, Continue reading “When You Forget You Are Beautiful And You’re Not Sure You Matter”
Some days I wear my dog to work.
With the bone-chilling cold of a New England winter upon us, I often rely on my fleece jacket to keep me warm. Fleece is great, but due to static electricity it’s also quite magnetic. Especially when it comes to dog fur. Just walking close to my dog and his hair seems to jump right on me.
We all have something in common with fleece. Things stick to us, too. How and where we spend our time greatly influences what actually gets stuck. Spend too much time in any negative environment and you will see that negativity start sticking to you. Fortunately, it Continue reading “What’s Getting Stuck On You These Days?”