Defiant Enthusiasm

“Five golden rings!”

It’s amazing how much noise 132 elementary school students can make. But there they were, on stage for the annual Holiday concert belting out “The 12 Days of Christmas” for a very appreciative audience.

It was a beautiful noise.

These kids were fully animated. Each day of the 12 included a visual interpretation of each gift given, from lords a-leaping to maids a-milking. Their enthusiasm was so infectious the crowd began to mimic the actions of the kids from their seats. Even Santa, who was sitting in the room, joined in as well.

The enthusiasm and energy these kids brought this day was genuine and real. They showed up, lined up, and dove all the way in. The innocence of youth provides plenty of room for joyous enthusiasm to be fully expressed.

For the rest of us, well, enthusiasm feels like a lot more work.

Life does have a way of trying to beat the enthusiasm out of us adults, doesn’t it? Enthusiasm is Continue reading “Defiant Enthusiasm” →

Creating A Safe Space For The Suck

It’s a game I’ve played with myself. Or maybe it was more of a survival mechanism.

I’d always been a big fan of the present moment. Unless I didn’t like the present moment. Then I’d find another moment somewhere in the future to save me from the discomfort of the present one.

I got quite proficient at using desired future outcomes to try and outrun the emotional challenges I could often find myself dealing with. Someday took the pressure off today. Someday allowed me to defer my responsibility of dealing with what is until some time in the distant future. Reaching those desired outcomes would take care of everything, I repeatedly told myself.

And they never did.

I’ve run away enough to know that running away never gets you anywhere else other than where you already are.

Someday is full of those distant utopian promises which we allow to sustain us at the expense of Continue reading “Creating A Safe Space For The Suck” →

Good Enough Seldom Is

With clarity and conviction in her voice I could tell she was a woman who knew what she wanted.

“Margherita pizza, cooked well done, extra basil.”

Yet when the pizza arrived, it wasn’t done exactly the way she wanted it done. After some initial griping to the other guests at the table about what was served to her, she quietly consumed her undercooked, slightly basil’d pizza, accepting less than what she wanted with every bite.

Why is it that we are so willing to accept less than what we know we want for ourselves?

Sometimes we settle because habitually we’ve always settled. We’ve been conditioned to settle because it’s always been easier and safer to accept less instead of fighting for what we know we want and deserve. Sometimes we don’t ask for what we want for fear of losing what we Continue reading “Good Enough Seldom Is” →

An Unexpected Expression Of Humanity

I’d forgotten what college tour season was like. But here we are meandering from school to school with student ambassadors walking us through their campuses enthusiastically pitching us as to why they feel their school is the ideal place to spend the next four years.

After these tours, the Standard Operating Procedure has been each school’s admission office sending out a generic “thanks for visiting our school” email and reminding us of key dates ahead in the application process. In our old fashioned US Postal Service mailbox, though, we received an unusual surprise.

A hand written personalized Thank You note from one of the student tour guides we had visited. It’s the only Thank You card we’ve received from any of them.

Certainly you don’t decide on a college based upon getting a card in the mail after a tour. But in receiving such a card, Devin the student tour guide differentiated himself from the other equally competent tour guides we’ve interacted with through this process.

Devin’s note stirred up an inner conversation about gratitude and connection. The digital world of emails, texts, and faceless AI interfaces is cold and vastly impersonal especially when compared to the warmth and authenticity found in receiving something hand created specifically for you. Continue reading “An Unexpected Expression Of Humanity” →

Dear Intuition, I’m Sorry

Something told me it was wrong, but I just kept going anyway.

It was a perfect day for a ride through the woods. Crisp but not cold, and the morning sun was filtering through the colorful leaves of the season. It was the annual 10 mile charity trail race taking me and my mountain bike through gravel fire roads and off-road grass and root-covered trails within the confines of a local conservation reserve.

Half way through the course and things were looking good. I was making good time and my legs felt strong. Ahead of me was another rider who had passed me a bit earlier. With the course poorly marked it felt good to have someone in the distance ahead of me to guide me through the remainder of the ride.

Or so I thought.

As we both headed down the only paved section of the course I noticed the open gate of a fire road which looked somewhat familiar. I participated in this event a year ago and I remember the Continue reading “Dear Intuition, I’m Sorry” →

Making Space For The Noise

At times it sounds like a talk radio show. Hostile. Loud. Contentious. Not what you want to hear while quietly sitting still on your meditation bench.

Welcome to the thoughts in my head.

Years ago I was told that meditation was a peaceful process. Just sit, close my eyes, and the light of positivity and peace would embrace me. How disappointed was I when that never happened. The mind will speak when it wants to speak and sometimes it has a lot of unpleasant things to say, even if you’re on your meditation bench.

My job is to notice, not to judge or criticize what my thoughts may want to contribute.

My job is to make space for the Noise.

The Noise. In the form of thoughts of frustration, uncertainty, regret, and doubt, all aspects of life we tend to experience but would rather not hear about. Especially when we’re trying to calm the mind through meditation.

Maybe the Noise just wants to be heard?

The Buddhist nun Pema Chodron speaks of the mind being like a blue sky, equating thoughts as clouds passing though. The clouds can be puffy white or dark and stormy, but the clouds demonstrate their impermanence, simply passing through and fading away for us to notice as Continue reading “Making Space For The Noise” →

Releasing The Grasp Of Perfection

It’s the invisible burden. Perfection. The need to live up to elevated standards set for us by others, and, at times, set by ourselves for ourselves. And even those standards which we set for ourselves are usually measured against some sort of societal yardstick of how we are “supposed” to be living our lives.

I’m sure we’ve all been caught up in the perfection vortex at some point in our lives. Where no matter what we do it’s never good enough. No matter how hard we try it’s still never enough. No matter how much we earn, how fit we are, what we drive, or what we’ve professionally achieved we can find ourselves consistently falling short of the utopian panacea of perfection.

There is a heaviness which comes from not being where we’ve been told we should be. That weight allows no room for self-compassion or grace. Because there is still more work to do.

There will always be more work to do.

Instead of being where I’m supposed to be, I’ve gotten much better at being where I am. Instead of being who I’m supposed to be, I’ve gotten much better at being who I am.

It’s a different kind of perfection, allowing and accepting is. When you’re not beating yourself Continue reading “Releasing The Grasp Of Perfection” →

The People You Meet Along The Way

They’re waiting for you.

Whether the road is well worn or it’s the road less traveled you’ll find them. Your perpetuators and your enablers. If that road is the road of your personal growth and evolution, magnetically you will encounter those willing to support you through your process. And if that road is the road of your own inner destruction, the magnet will make sure your inner demons don’t destroy you alone.

My life has been one of many paths, some far more enjoyable than others. There have been mountains of growth and valleys of self-destruction. On those paths I’ve chosen – intentionally and unintentionally – I’d experience more of what I expected to experience, even if I may not have wanted to experience more of it at all.

People included.

Regardless of my intended or unintended destination, there have always been people willing to either keep me stuck or to lift me higher. Like some sort of tribal magnetism. When I’ve been ready to grow the growth tribe would be found. When I was tethered to a mindset of limitation and lack, there were plenty of like-minded individuals available to share my misery with.

Perpetuators and enablers.

I was recently sent an unattributed quote about the impact of the people we surround ourselves with and how that immediate circle will influence and shape who we will become. Paraphrasing, when you hang around with five intelligent people you will become the sixth. Hang around with Continue reading “The People You Meet Along The Way” →

Is Your One & Only Life Worth It?

I was a bit confused as I watched him walk carefully over the jagged granite rocks exposed by the low tide. When he finally stopped, he took out his camera and he began to capture images of the weathered lighthouse precariously situated above him on the shore.

When he made his way back to where I was standing we stuck up a light conversation about how beautiful the scenery was. At some point I asked about his journey out over the rocks to take some photos and he just smiled. When he showed me a few of the images he shot from that vantage point I started to smile, too. They were stunning, taken from an unconventional angle which added an element of unexpected magnificence.

“Sometimes all you really need to do is to put yourself in position to succeed.”

There are easier ways to take a photo of a lighthouse. But he wasn’t looking for easy, he was looking to create something far more spectacular.

That’s exactly what he did.

I’ve been thinking about the significance of his words. Not in terms of photography but in life. Of Continue reading “Is Your One & Only Life Worth It?” →

Accepting The Gift Of Grace

After a bit of intense deliberation, the decision was made.

The choice was Chips Ahoy!

The vending machine sucked in my two dollars, I excitedly pressed the corresponding button, the spiral coils started turning moving my cookies closer to the edge and then the unthinkable happened. My cookies got stuck. The package must have gotten hung up on something and they never dropped down to the bottom of the machine. A few gentle nudges and a couple of slaps on the glass front proved fruitless. My money was gone, my cookies were stuck, and there wasn’t anything I could do about it.

In the grand scheme of things, this probably shouldn’t have been a big issue.

But on this day it was.

And that’s OK.

I’m much better at noticing how I respond to life’s unexpected challenges. How I respond when I’m disappointed, when my expectations aren’t met. I tend not to judge my responses nor judge myself for having the responses I have. I simply notice.

There is power in noticing.

At times there is anger, resentment, and frustration. At times there is peace, understanding, and acceptance.

Noticing serves as an emotional barometer of sorts, a gauge where I safely check in with me especially when my responses to adversity are negatively impacting my energy. You can’t not feel the tension of anger, resentment, and frustration.

The younger version of me would often perpetuate any perceived negative reactions by attacking myself for actually having them. A foundational part of my growth process has been Continue reading “Accepting The Gift Of Grace” →

Peter Mis LivingHalfFull.com

Lessons From A Life Unfolding

Tag: mindfulness