Tag: freedom

Good Enough Seldom Is

Good Enough Seldom Is

With clarity and conviction in her voice I could tell she was a woman who knew what she wanted. 

“Margherita pizza, cooked well done, extra basil.” 

Yet when the pizza arrived, it wasn’t done exactly the way she wanted it done. After some initial griping to the other guests at the table about what was served to her, she quietly consumed her undercooked, slightly basil’d pizza, accepting less than what she wanted with every bite.

Why is it that we are so willing to accept less than what we know we want for ourselves?

Sometimes we settle because habitually we’ve always settled. We’ve been conditioned to settle because it’s always been easier and safer to accept less instead of fighting for what we know we want and deserve. Sometimes we don’t ask for what we want for fear of losing what we Continue reading “Good Enough Seldom Is” →

The Unexpected Peace Of Acceptance

The Unexpected Peace Of Acceptance

Who knew such lessons could be contained in an eight foot section of rope?

A few years back I was humbled by a jump rope. One of the exercises in this particular fitness class I had signed up for involved jumping rope, something I’d not done in decades. But, how hard could it be? After all, it’s jumping rope, like riding a bicycle. You just pick up where you left off, right?

As I awkwardly spun the rope over my head, for the life of me I just couldn’t time my jumps correctly as the rope swung towards my feet. No grace. No elegance. No coordination. Recognizing my growing frustration, I kept trying and eventually I got into a bit of a rhythm until I hit the wall aerobically, surprisingly quickly fatigued by the cumulative challenge of jumping rope.

Maybe I wasn’t in as good of shape as I thought I was. I’d been consistently active at the gym, running consistently three times a week, yet a simple jump rope showed me I really wasn’t where I thought I was fitness wise.

Most of my significant moments of growth have grown out of moments when life humbled me. Some of those moments were unwelcome but showed up anyway. In other moments I voluntarily engaged with the realization and acceptance of certain situations, people, and circumstances and was willing to meet them where they were. 

Including the jump rope.

Including myself.

Fighting with my perceptions of reality can often feel justified, even cathartic. And while the fighting might feel good, the fighting keeps you stuck and distracts you from taking the next steps in response to embracing the truth about those certain situations, people, and circumstances which, like that jump rope, can show you exactly where you are in relation to them.

If you’re open and willing to do so.

The jump rope showed me something I didn’t see in me. I could have discredited or denied the uncomfortable findings, or I could have accepted what was and decided to growth through it instead. Which is what I chose to do. I’ve gotten much better at casting aside my ego and habitual blame and allowing myself to be humbled by the truths in front of me. Knowing and accepting What Is provides the perfect foundation to build What Could Be if building a different experience is what you want to create for you. And in some areas of my life that’s exactly what I am intentionally doing.

Acceptance isn’t surrender. Acceptance isn’t passive. Acceptance isn’t even being OK with how portions of life actually are. It’s about allowing life to be exactly as it is right now and moving forward – or not – from a position of understanding where you are right now. 

There is an unexpected peace and freedom which comes from accepting life as it is, without judging, without resisting, without wishing it was any different even if you’re tempted to wish that it was. For me that has been a long, non-linear, painful process.

But I’m getting better at it.

Just like jumping rope.

Photo by Ashley Inguanta on Unsplash

Indignity, Indifference, And The Contemplation Of Freedom

Indignity, Indifference, And The Contemplation Of Freedom

“Man’s greatness consists in his ability to do and the proper application of his powers to things needed to be done.”  – Frederick Douglass

Honestly, it’s not something I give much thought to.

The contemplation of freedom.

Like breathing, I guess it’s one of those things I’ve always enjoyed which is probably an underlying reason as to why I simply take it for granted.

On a visit to the city of my birth I made an unscheduled stop to the recently-opened Abolition Row Park in New Bedford. It is a relatively small park with a very big story to tell. Abolition Row Park sits across from two important buildings, both of which have been designated as National Historic Landmarks. Both of these buildings played significant roles as stations in the Underground Railroad sheltering escaped Slaves in a city which was an abolitionist haven. It was here in 1838 that Frederick Douglass was able to secure his freedom.

I cannot do the story of Frederick Douglass justice, not in this short format. His was an extraordinary life, his voice as an orator, writer, publisher, and preacher a significant and powerful voice in the abolitionist movement globally.

One of the most striking elements to be found in Abolition Row Park is a statue of Douglass. It’s not a Continue reading “Indignity, Indifference, And The Contemplation Of Freedom” →

What Is It That You Need To Hear From You?

What Is It That You Need To Hear From You?

It’s a tough conversation. Because you know they’re the one responsible for how things turned out. They’re the one who fell short of what could have been. It’s a tough conversation because of who this person actually is.

You.

We hold ourselves to such alarmingly high standards, don’t we? We can be relentless at times, honestly. And when we get caught in a cycle of disappointment or regret we can poison ourselves with the venom of blame and anger. 

What is it that you need to hear from you? Are you able to release yourself from the heaviness of the burdens you’ve placed upon yourself? Because their weight is something you’ve no need to carry. Are you able to look at your younger self and understand that you did the best you could at the time? Because you did. Are you able to forgive yourself for falling short of the unrealistic expectations you’ve often set for yourself? Because forgiveness changes your relationship with you.

Only you can make peace with you. Only you can move you past your past and onto some solid emotional footing to move you forward and into who you now know you really are.

A tough conversation.

But it could be one which sets you free.

What is it that you need to hear from you?

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

What A Tomato Can Teach You About Loving Yourself

What A Tomato Can Teach You About Loving Yourself

“Dude…they look weird!”

On a recent trip to Whole Foods I was intrigued by the conflicting comments of two young teens. They had just stopped to look at a display of heirloom tomatoes. One offered his “they look weird” opinion while the other thought they looked “pretty cool”. Funny how two people can look at the exact same tomatoes and see two completely different things.

Which made me wonder…Is there a correlation between what you see when you look at heirloom tomatoes and how you see yourself?

Heirloom tomatoes look dramatically different than what we’ve come to know as traditional tomatoes. Traditional tomatoes are engineered for consistency of size, shape, color, and texture, mass produced to meet the needs of millions. Heirlooms are far more individually Continue reading “What A Tomato Can Teach You About Loving Yourself” →

The Forgotten Freedom?

The Forgotten Freedom?

Independence Day. A day most of the nation unplugs and celebrates the freedoms which serve as the backbone of America.

Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

But when do you ever stop to celebrate your own greatest personal freedom?

As humans, regardless of birthplace or nationality, we all possess the freedom to choose our thoughts. Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl described this as the “last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.”

Standing where you are, you have some life-shaping decisions to make. You get to decide if the Continue reading “The Forgotten Freedom?” →