Maybe we don’t really need more information.
Maybe we really don’t need any additional clarification.
Maybe we’re just not willing to take action, to start, to change, to become.
Maybe what we call commitments aren’t things we’re actually committed to?
If we’re not willing to grow, we shouldn’t be surprised when we don’t.
Photo by Chris Yang on Unsplash
The broken pots told the story of why the red leaves and dirt littered the floor in front of me. The local garden center had a large display of Christmas poinsettias and a couple of these vibrant plants apparently had fallen off the table, their plastic pots breaking open as they hit the concrete floor below.
Seeing the plants out of their pots showed a cross section their life story. The dirt, the roots, the stems, and the leaves. The leaves always get the glory, but it all started in the dirt.
Before a flower is celebrated for it’s beauty, the seed begins the journey buried in darkness, covered, watered, and left on its own to find its way instinctively upward and towards an unseen light. From a human perspective, such a journey would be daunting and quite traumatic. But to a flower, it’s simply the process of growing.
As humans, dirt is often a part of our growth process. Dirt, in the form of disappointments, pain, Continue reading “When You Focus Upon The Light”
“You weren’t home so she left it in the mailbox.”
The message was from a neighbor. His eight year old daughter Kenzie had stopped by but no one answered the door. Kenzie was going door to door dropping off the hand-painted Christmas ornaments she had made to all the houses in our small neighborhood. When we got home, I looked in the mailbox and there it was. A blue snowflake with a white string looped through the top.
It was beautiful.
On many levels.
Kenzie and her family had moved into the neighborhood a few years ago. For the most part we’d exchanged pleasantries when we’d encounter each other walking past or driving by each others homes. We’d been neighborly, but not to the point of exchanging holiday gifts.
Apparently Kenzie didn’t let that concern her, never getting caught up in the nature of neighborhood dynamics. She just wanted to create something and share it with each of her neighbors.
So, she did.
Honestly, her kind gesture felt as if I was living in some idilic Hallmark movie in the perfect Continue reading “A Gift We Are All Able To Give”
I’m sure I knew not to shine the flashlight into my eyes. But somehow I ended up doing it anyways.
Black Friday Weekend and I find myself meandering through the aisle of Lowe’s. I wasn’t actually looking for a new flashlight, but a deal is a deal so I stopped to check them out. Apparently the brightness of light is measured in something called lumens, and having no concept of what a lumen looked like I turned the flashlight a bit too high and ended up temporarily blinding myself in the process.
Now I know what a lumen is.
The lumens grew even brighter as I adjusted the flashlight’s beam width from wide to narrow, decreasing the size of the illuminated circle while intensifying its glow.
I’ve found myself doing the same thing in my life, adjusting the width of my focus from wide to narrow, decreasing the size of my own circle while intensifying the glow on what really matters.
I guess at some point if you keep working at it, life finally gets clearer. Purpose meets intention Continue reading “Guided By Your Own Light”
It had been about 20 years since my last visit, but I remembered this stretch of road quite well.
Interstate 89 is that long and winding road which would take me from Concord, New Hampshire northwest to the Vermont state line. My recent ride was personal, but for many years early in my professional life the curves and contours of this 60 miles of highway became well known to me.
As I meandered silently on this early Sunday morning drive, I felt as if I was getting reacquainted with an old friend as my mind wandered back to a different time in my life. A time when I was very much a different version of me. A time when I wasn’t really a very good friend to myself.
Despite my professional success, these years were not a happy period for me. Corporate pressures were compounded greatly by the internal pressures I placed upon myself. While my successes seemingly masked my silent fears and insecurities, those fears and insecurities were very Continue reading “Further Down The Road Of Self-Forgiveness”
Maybe it’s not the most wonderful time of the year.
Maybe the Holidays suck. Maybe it’s a painful time, a time when we are reminded of what’s now missing in our lives, of what never was in our lives. Maybe it’s a time of isolation and loneliness, of struggle, of waiting, of wanting, and of constantly being reminded of how we are supposed to feel regardless of how we actually do.
Our emotions are our own. They need not be validated by others nor minimized by ourselves. There is nothing to justify, nothing to explain.
And, no, you’re not “too much”.
Perhaps this Holiday season you gift yourself the permission to unapologetically feel whatever it is you Continue reading “The Permission To Feel”
It was an unexpected opportunity to learn.
Earlier in the week I was asked to present some grant awards on behalf of a local educational foundation I do some work with. The foundation awards these grants to meet specific teacher requests which typically fall outside the funding parameters of limited school budgets.
My presentation was to a group of extremely important people. I found myself standing in front of the teachers of the school my daughters attended many years ago. Many of these teachers played such a vital role in the transformation of my young elementary school daughters into the strong, confident, and empowered young women they are today. And I know my daughters weren’t the only kiddos to be impacted so profoundly by those who were sitting in front of me.
It was an honor to stand before them.
As I scanned the room I remembered defining moments of impact many of these teachers had Continue reading “Staring Into The Eyes Of Impact”
“Four gallons of Morning Fog, please.”
Semi-gloss.
After months of searching for the perfect color to repaint the family room, we finally settled on Morning Fog, a gray-ish blue or a blue-ish gray tone for a space which has been the same color for close to a decade and a half. After a full weekend with a brush and a roller, the transformation of the room is now complete.
It looks weird.
I do like it. But after seeing the room one way for some 15 years, any change in color would probably be weird.
Change can feel weird. Even anxious. We’ve seen something the same way for a long period of time and any deviation from that vision takes some getting used to.
If we are willing to change in the first place.
Many of the most significant personal changes I’ve made in my life first ran into a wall of apprehension. The vision of who I wanted to become deviated greatly from the vision I’ve long had of myself, and that inconsistency was met with fierce inner resistance. Our vision colors our world, defining who we think we are and what we are willing to accept as possible for our lives. A new vision, of seeing myself differently than I’ve habitually seen myself, was needed in order for Continue reading “Recoloring Your World Of Possibilities”
I hadn’t seen Steve in quite a while. We grew up in the same neighborhood, a bunch of us kids enamored with hockey and The Three Stooges. We all knew him as Zig, a nickname my older brother had endowed upon him. I never asked why. Life eventually took all of us in different directions until the unexpected reunion of us neighborhood kids at Steve’s wake.
Losing a friend hits differently. I’ve lost both of my parents, and as painful as their passings were and at times continue to be, I’ve come to accept the inevitable progression of children eventually burying their parents. But there is no natural expected progression when losing someone your own age.
Seeing Steve for the last time brought back a plethora of happy memories of my childhood. I could see all of us again as we once were.
And now one of us was no longer here.
There was a sense of randomness about his passing. As if it could have been any one of us who was no longer here. It was in that randomness I felt the uncomfortable presence of Continue reading “The Clarity Of Impermanence”
“Watch out for the bridge…if you hit it wrong you’ll go flying over the handlebars.”
I came to trust Tom very quickly. We were riding side by side on a rather poorly marked trail through the woods and gravel fire roads of a local nature preserve, a 10 mile mountain bike trek to benefit a local charity. The bridge could have been a disaster, but I crossed over with ease.
Tom knew these woods. “I’ve been riding these trails for years”, Tom said, as often as three times a week. As this was my first time riding through the wilderness, I felt rather fortunate to find a guide to help me navigate my way to the finish line.
At a less intense moment on the course Tom mentioned recently celebrating his 76th birthday. I was silently stunned by his revelation. Seventy f’n six? His relentless energy and stamina were Continue reading “Maybe Your Non-Negotiables Actually Are?”
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