Making Room For The Other Voice In You Head

Making Room For The Other Voice In You Head

“I am me.

And that should be enough, it always has been enough.

I was the one who didn’t get that.”

A friend of mine posted these words, the words of Matthew Perry, in the wake of his untimely and unexpected passing.

I’d not heard these words of his previously, yet they did have a familiar feel to them. An almost universally familiar feel to them.

I’m not sure when upon our human paths we start to diverge from our own innate perfection. I’m not sure what serves as the wedge causing microfractures in our sense of worthiness. Each journey is a uniquely personal one, yet so many arrive at the same destination of questioning if they are enough as they already are.

The world at times certainly like to remind us of what we are missing, of what we are lacking…relentlessly setting ever-changing and ever-inflated expectations that can certainly can cause us to not Continue reading “Making Room For The Other Voice In You Head”

Creating Your Unapologetically Authentic Life

Creating Your Unapologetically Authentic Life

“Pain pushes until vision pulls.” – Michael Beckwith

It wasn’t a pleasant birthday. Yeah, I was happy to have been given another one. But this one had something it needed to tell me and it wasn’t going to stay silent.

As I approached this particular birthday, I began to hear some annoying voices I’d thought I had repressed. Annoying in the sense that I just didn’t want to deal with them but they showed up yet again. But I guess when you’re willing to have open and honest conversations with yourself about yourself that creates a safe space for some uncomfortable feedback.

There had always been this feeling of a misalignment of sorts, a long-running inner conflict between who I was and who I knew I was created to be. I’ve always been very grateful for What Is, but there was an unrelenting gnawing that I’d yet to allow myself to fully embrace what was possible for me. With yet another birthday just ahead that repressed voice of inauthenticity began to scream. Loudly.

There are many reasons why we live a life of Less Than. Of settling. Of abandoning our own authenticity, of habitually taking what we are given instead of creating what we know is possible. We Continue reading “Creating Your Unapologetically Authentic Life”

Love & Kindness Are Always In Season

Love & Kindness Are Always In Season

Change.

Here in New England, October is full of changes. It’s getting colder. It’s getting darker. The leaves explode with their vibrant fiery colors, the foliage the defining signature of the season know as Fall.

As each season has it’s own unique characteristics, each will be rendered impermanent by time as one season eventually transitions into the next.

But some things need never be seasonally fleeting.

Like love.

And kindness.

The winds of the world can at times be cold and relentless. We can choose to respond with an equal Continue reading “Love & Kindness Are Always In Season”

Do You Own Your Own Potential?

Do You Own Your Own Potential?

Maybe I shouldn’t swear as much as I do. But if you’ve ever stepped on an acorn while barefoot, a few colorful curse words makes for a logical form of self-expression.

Fall in New England is a magical metaphorical time. It’s a season of letting go, of change, and of preparation. For me it’s also a time of reflection and contemplation as we head into the silence of the coming winter. Regardless of the season, I still need to eat, and as I made my way to my grill I was reminded just how painful stepping on an acorn while barefoot actually is.

As the oaks begin shedding their leaves they also drop their acorns, and with the oak tree’s close proximity to my house the back deck is constantly littered with their presence. Acorns are an oak tree’s way of perpetuating their species. While the ones on my deck will never take root, other acorns the tree has dropped may find the proper nurturing environment to turn an acorn into an oak tree. A fascinating process of Nature ensuring it’s own survival.

Acorns are little packets of potential. The seeds of what they were created to become reside inside each of them. But no matter the potential residing within them, their growth and full expression require cultivation in an environment conducive to growth and full expression. They’ll never become anything just resting on the patio.

Us humans are quite similar to acorns, aren’t we? We, too, are all little packets of potential with the seeds of what we were created to become resting within each of us. We, too, will require a nurturing environment conducive to supporting our own growth and full expression.

Unlike acorns whose growth is contingent primarily upon external conditions, the most important Continue reading “Do You Own Your Own Potential?”

The Foundation For An Intentional Life

The Foundation For An Intentional Life

It’s that time of year again. Another birthday just ahead.

Birthdays have become important milestones. I’ve learned to approach them with both reflection and intention, reflecting upon how I showed up in the previous 12 months, setting intentions for how I intend to show up for the next 12 months.

The years have taught me a great deal about life, often the hard way. As I prepare to step into my next year I remind myself of some of the most important things I have learned.

I am responsible for my life experience.

I am responsible for my outcomes.

I am responsible for my energy.

I am responsible for my mindset.

I am responsible for the fullest expression of my highest self.

I am responsible for how I allow others to influence me.

I am responsible for my peace.

I am responsible for me.

Continue reading “The Foundation For An Intentional Life”

The Immeasurable Impact Of Teachers

The Immeasurable Impact Of Teachers

We have what has grown into an annual tradition here in town. As with most things which have grown into traditions, it began quite organically. Some of the graduating high school seniors decided to revisit their elementary school and spend a few moments with some of their favorite teachers, some of which they hadn’t seen in at least eight years. Just to say hello. Just their way of stepping back into their past and with their physical presence saying thank you.

None of these kids went back because their teacher taught them about the order of operations when solving a math problem. Nor did they go back because their teacher drove into them that I comes before E except after C. They went back because these teachers moved them, inspired them, helped them grow through certain challenges. Because their teachers believed in them, encouraged them, and helped them to become more confident as both students and as individuals.

On a day designed for partying and celebrating, they went back and let their teachers know how much they mattered to them.

This is what impact looks like.

When others believe in us it helps us to believe in ourselves as well. What we believe about ourselves determines our sense of identity of who we accept ourselves to be. That accepted identity shapes every aspect of how we will experience life. Of our own sense of worth. Of our own sense of value. Of our own sense of what’s possible – or not –  for us.

Identity impacts everything. We will become who it is we accept ourselves to be. Nothing more, nothing Continue reading “The Immeasurable Impact Of Teachers”

Growth Isn’t Supposed To Be Pretty

Growth Isn’t Supposed To Be Pretty

There she was, all covered in mud.

It was beautiful.

On a recent run through the neighborhood I saw her parked in her driveway. She being a red Jeep Rubicon fully encrusted with several coats of dried dirt. I smiled just thinking about the fun had during the process of covering this beast with mud.

Jeeps were made to be driven, and this one was doing what it was created to do.

I want to be more like that Jeep.

For a good portion of my life I was anything but a Jeep. I was more like a rental car. I was simply going where I had to go, always living defensively, always worried about life’s scratches and dents. I just wanted to someday return my life in the same condition as it was given to me.

Playing small and living defensively isn’t what any of us were created to do.

The road to living the life we were created to live isn’t always straight, it isn’t always paved, and at times is poorly marked. It is full of ups and downs, starts and stops, unexpected breakdowns and Continue reading “Growth Isn’t Supposed To Be Pretty”

Allowing What Is To Be Exactly What It Is

Allowing What Is To Be Exactly What It Is

The new couch was perfect. The size, the style, the comfort, the price.

The only problem?

It was beige.

She wanted it to be grey.

Grey wasn’t an available option.

Life has a way of toying with our wants and needs sometimes, doesn’t it? Sometimes those wants and needs come so close to being met, with almost every box on our wish list checked.

Almost.

Those moments can be disappointing. Because we know how close to perfection we are. Yet we aren’t. And we probably aren’t going to to get any closer than we already are.

Standing just outside of perfection forces us into deciding if close enough is good enough. Those decisions are best made from a standpoint of allowing what is to be exactly as it is. Not from a position Continue reading “Allowing What Is To Be Exactly What It Is”

The Proper Use Of Middle Fingers

The Proper Use Of Middle Fingers

I could tell she’d done this before.

Arm fully extended, as was the middle finger on her left hand. All while maintaining perfect eye contact with me as she angrily and defiantly drove past me.

Apparently my driving skills did not meet her exacting standards, hence the middle finger feedback.

The world seems full of middle fingers these days. Perhaps everyone feels empowered as hostility and division have become seemingly commonplace and accepted. It’s easy to flip someone off perched high in the driver’s seat of an oversized SUV, just as it’s easy to trash someone on social media given the absence of physical proximity and the anonymity we can hide behind online, ever so brave behind the safety of a keyboard.

As much as I appreciated her feedback, I decided not to return the favor. I do have two middle fingers and I’ve certainly used them over the years to provide my own feedback to others. This time, I didn’t want to engage.

The price was too high.

When triggered, our response is always our choice. Returning fire might make you feel good in the Continue reading “The Proper Use Of Middle Fingers”

The 6 Universal Truths To Accept About Your Life

The 6 Universal Truths To Accept About Your Life

You’d think something as important as life would come with an instruction manual. Buy a new toaster and you’ll learn how to toast bread in several different languages. But life? It forces you to figure it out on your own. It’s a process, a meandering non-linear journey through mountains and valleys of joy and pain just to find a base level of understanding of this thing we call life. For those courageous enough to willingly search within, we often don’t fully understand what we’ve signed up for. But it’s a journey we know we simply need to embark upon. In the darkness we often find the light.

If I were to be tasked with creating an instruction manual for life, I’d include the following six foundational ideals I’ve learned the hard way. The hard way, forged in the fires of my own skepticism, doubt, denial, blame, resistance, and fear.

And finally, acceptance.

Perhaps my trials will save you some trials of your own.

YOU MATTER

At times life gets us to a point where we can question our own value. Our own worth. We can often feel unheard and unseen even by those closest to us, creating an emotionally dangerous space perpetuating the questioning of the significance of our existence.

In the ever-distracted world we all share, our focus is seldom placed upon reminding ourself of of our own significance. And how often are we reminded by others? But in this intentional universe, ever purposefully in its creation, the fact that you and I are here is evidence that we matter, even if we perhaps aren’t quite sure why. There are no spare parts in this intentional universe. It simply doesn’t work that way.

Yes, you matter.

YOU’RE NOT BROKEN AND YOU NEVER WERE

A lot has happened to you since the day you were born. Some of those things have greatly impacted your own sense of self. Of who you are. Of what you think is possible for you.

Humans, including some well-meaning humans, in their attempt to love you and keep you safe, often transplant their own fears and limitations and insecurities into the fertile grounds of a young children’s Continue reading “The 6 Universal Truths To Accept About Your Life”