It Always Falls Back On Me, Doesn’t It?

It Always Falls Back On Me, Doesn’t It?

Maybe I didn’t think I was qualified for the job. 

And when you don’t think you can do the job, the logical thing to do is to find someone else who you think can.

But some things you can’t outsource.

Like your peace, your happiness, your emotional well being.

When you accept the reality that you are, in fact, the only one qualified for the job of finding your own peace, happiness, and emotional well being, the sooner you’ll stop expecting others to find them or be them for you.

Ready?

Photo by Tj Holowaychuk on Unsplash

Smackin’ The Piñata Of Life

Smackin’ The Piñata Of Life

There’s a pony hanging from a hook above my desk. It’s small, colorful, and made out of whatever a piñata is made out of. It’s there to remind me of one of life’s most important lessons.

I remember the many birthday parties, rope thrown over a low-hanging branch holding the piñata in position for the kids lined up to take a few swings at in hopes of cracking the thing wide open and spewing candy all over the ground at the base of the tree.

The life lesson?

The candy doesn’t just fall out by itself.

As grown ups, our candy comes in a different form. It takes the shape of our hopes and dreams and aspirations. The things we want to experience and become. The life we want to live. Those hopes and dreams and aspirations are dangling in front of us. But unless we are willing to line up and take consistent swings at the piñata of life all that we want for ourselves will remain within our sights yet out of our reach.

The piñata above my desk reminds me that the life I want to live needs me to show up, to step up, Continue reading “Smackin’ The Piñata Of Life”

The Greater Risk Is Not Being Authentically You

The Greater Risk Is Not Being Authentically You

Authenticity sounds simple, right? To be yourself, fearlessly. Yet at some point for most of us we learned our authentic self expression was actually something to be feared.

Authenticity comes with great risk, a risk that who we really are won’t be understood or accepted in our most-important relationships. The fear of such isolation often leads us to suppress many of the parts of us which make us so beautifully and authentically unique.

So, to provide a perceived sense of safety, we dim our light for those who can’t handle our brightness, for we fear being left alone in the darkness. Our fear of abandonment leads us to abandon our truest self, an increasingly high price to pay the longer we choose to do so.

Conformity makes everyone comfortable. Except us.

In time we will be pained realizing the greater risk is in not authentically expressing who we are. And Continue reading “The Greater Risk Is Not Being Authentically You”

Trauma, Healing, Compassion, & Empathy

Trauma, Healing, Compassion, & Empathy

Perhaps this would have changed everything?

Just a few right words spoken at the right time could have significantly shifted the direction of that life. Or those reassuring conversations which were vulnerably started yet were met with a defiant wall of silence, the desperately extended hand not grasped by one who could have pulled us to a space of emotional safety.

The seeds of our greatest possibility never watered, the weeds of our insecurities and fears never pulled.

As I sit here this early morning, I find I am reflecting upon some of the stories I’ve both witnessed and experienced, some deeply painful life trauma stories others have bravely entrusted me with and the painful ones I’ve lived through on my own. 

Our deepest pains are personal and seldom understood by others. Or even our self. The screams are often silent, and we carry this heaviness alone, simply moving forward the best we can, sometimes in rather unhealthy ways as we try to numb a pain only we can feel. Trauma is alive and invisibly thriving within all of us at one level or another. 

As I’ve worked with my own traumatic experiences I’ve come to respect their presence in my life. No longer do I attempt to minimize their impact upon me. No longer do I chastise myself for letting events and outcomes I did not control actually control me. The pain and its impact have yet to be fully worked through, and perhaps they may never be fully processed. But there is no longer anyone to blame, neither the ones who unknowingly inflicted a pain that would shape a lifetime, nor the recipient of the pain for letting it do so.

This is where my healing truly begins.

I often wondered what life would have been like had those few right words at the right time been Continue reading “Trauma, Healing, Compassion, & Empathy”

The Foundation For An Intentional Life

The Foundation For An Intentional Life

It’s that time of year again. Another birthday just ahead.

Birthdays have become important milestones. I’ve learned to approach them with both reflection and intention, reflecting upon how I showed up in the previous 12 months, setting intentions for how I intend to show up for the next 12 months.

The years have taught me a great deal about life, often the hard way. As I prepare to step into my next year I remind myself of some of the most important things I have learned.

I am responsible for my life experience.

I am responsible for my outcomes.

I am responsible for my energy.

I am responsible for my mindset.

I am responsible for the fullest expression of my highest self.

I am responsible for how I allow others to influence me.

I am responsible for my peace.

I am responsible for me.

Continue reading “The Foundation For An Intentional Life”

The Top 5 Good Excuses For Not Living Up To Your Potential

The Top 5 Good Excuses For Not Living Up To Your Potential

Boy, did I set myself up for quite the challenge.

My task this week was to filter through a lifetime of learning and living and come up with the definitive list of the top five good excuses for people not living up to their potential.

Not to brag, but at one point in my life I would have been considered an expert in this field. In fact, I probably would have won the lifetime “lack-of-achievement” award for my consistent and innovative excuse making if, of course, the world actually awarded those who’ve never done anything other than make excuses as to why they’ve never done anything.

Based upon my extensive research and unquestionable qualifications, I present to you Continue reading “The Top 5 Good Excuses For Not Living Up To Your Potential”

Five Ways to Make Someone’s Day

Has anyone ever made your day?

Do you remember how it made you feel?

I had a great experience recently. It made my day. I received a message from someone in response to a comment I made on her blog post. She had eloquently written a piece that resonated with me at a very deep level. Her words prompted me share my honest appreciation for what she had written. Later, she sent me a warm reply which included these words: “you made my day”.

Wow.

I was stunned. I made someone’s day? Me? How did that happen?

I don’t know if I’ve ever made anyone’s day before. If I did, no one ever told me that I did. But the funny thing about being told that you made someone’s day is that, in turn, it makes your day as well. I can still feel the physiological changes that instantly radiated within me. Four little words, a simple expression of thanks and gratitude, made me a better person that day.

Continue reading “Five Ways to Make Someone’s Day”