Life, Unleashed

There are two dogs living in my head.

There’s the old one. The one who has quite the collection of scars and bruises which one can only get by living. The emotional beatings have forged a mindset some would choose to call wisdom, if they had the wisdom to do so. Such life lessons, though, often leave a myopic view of what is truly possible moving forward.

And then there’s the puppy, alive with curiosity and endless energy, obliviously moving forward, not yet jaded by life’s often cruel way of teaching the things it feels the need to teach. The puppy’s childlike mindset is one of fearless possibilities, of discovery and expansion.

These are the two dogs living in my head.

At various times in my life I’ve been both of these animals. At times silently jaded and hopelessly resigned to what is. At times highly energized and fully alive, ready to chase any stick the Continue reading “Life, Unleashed” →

Changing Everything Ends Up Changing Nothing

I just couldn’t wait for the ball to drop. Because in that moment I would be reborn anew, ready to live the best year I would ever live.

New Year’s Day. It’s January 1st and I’ve been gifted 365 pristine days to evolve into the highest, most elevated version of myself. A new year. A new me.

And this time I mean it.

The vision of what I’ll grow into just one year from now is rather exciting. Those personal and professional goals all accomplished just as they were planned. New habits, new belief systems, new energy collectively elevating me into this unstoppable force, an epic transformation and a life redefined.

Sometimes, though, trying to change everything ends up changing nothing.

And nothing usually did.

Failure and frustration have taught me that heading into a new year one of the first things I need Continue reading “Changing Everything Ends Up Changing Nothing” →

When You Focus Upon The Light

The broken pots told the story of why the red leaves and dirt littered the floor in front of me. The local garden center had a large display of Christmas poinsettias and a couple of these vibrant plants apparently had fallen off the table, their plastic pots breaking open as they hit the concrete floor below.

Seeing the plants out of their pots showed a cross section their life story. The dirt, the roots, the stems, and the leaves. The leaves always get the glory, but it all started in the dirt.

Before a flower is celebrated for it’s beauty, the seed begins the journey buried in darkness, covered, watered, and left on its own to find its way instinctively upward and towards an unseen light. From a human perspective, such a journey would be daunting and quite traumatic. But to a flower, it’s simply the process of growing.

As humans, dirt is often a part of our growth process. Dirt, in the form of disappointments, pain, Continue reading “When You Focus Upon The Light” →

Recoloring Your World Of Possibilities

“Four gallons of Morning Fog, please.”

Semi-gloss.

After months of searching for the perfect color to repaint the family room, we finally settled on Morning Fog, a gray-ish blue or a blue-ish gray tone for a space which has been the same color for close to a decade and a half. After a full weekend with a brush and a roller, the transformation of the room is now complete.

It looks weird.

I do like it. But after seeing the room one way for some 15 years, any change in color would probably be weird.

Change can feel weird. Even anxious. We’ve seen something the same way for a long period of time and any deviation from that vision takes some getting used to.

If we are willing to change in the first place.

Many of the most significant personal changes I’ve made in my life first ran into a wall of apprehension. The vision of who I wanted to become deviated greatly from the vision I’ve long had of myself, and that inconsistency was met with fierce inner resistance. Our vision colors our world, defining who we think we are and what we are willing to accept as possible for our lives. A new vision, of seeing myself differently than I’ve habitually seen myself, was needed in order for Continue reading “Recoloring Your World Of Possibilities” →

The Benefits Of Showing Up Anyway

I didn’t expect the results to be good.

And they weren’t.

Standing in a cold wind-driven rain, I, along with several hundred others runners were lined up awaiting the starting gun to fire. The five mile course would meander through the Seaport district and along the frigid waterfront of South Boston. While I was ready for the start I knew I wasn’t ready to run.

But that’s what I was there to do.

The reasons for me not being as ready as I had wanted to be were strictly my own. “Other priorities” would be a convenient reframing of the excuses associated with my lack of being fully Continue reading “The Benefits Of Showing Up Anyway” →

Enthusiasm Is Always An Option

“Anesthesiologist.”

That was Avery’s response when I asked her what she intended to work towards as she’s now a week away from heading off to college. Avery is very intelligent, and when combined with her drive and work ethic she leaves you will the impression that she’ll become anything she wants to become.

On the cusp of an exciting new chapter of her life, her level of excitement and enthusiasm are infectious. She’s worked hard to get to this point and she’s ready to dive in to what’s next.

I have to admit, when I was young and heading off to college my level of enthusiasm was never at the same level as Avery’s. The only thing that was infectious was my indifference and sense of stagnation. Maybe it was my lack of direction or vision for my life, or maybe it was me not being ready or even willing to fully embrace the next chapter of my life.

My relationship with enthusiasm had always put the pressure on other people, external events, and desired outcomes to give me something to be excited about. There was no inner organic sense of enthusiasm to be found, especially as I assumed the responsibilities of being an adult.

In reality, there was plenty to be excited and enthusiastic about. If I simply decided to see life in that way.

One of the most important milestones in my emotional and spiritual evolution was when I began to assume full responsibility for my life experience. When I decided to hold myself accountable Continue reading “Enthusiasm Is Always An Option” →

When Butterflies Are Afraid To Fly

Caterpillars don’t really have much of a choice, do they?

Whether they like it or not, becoming the butterfly they were created to become is inevitable. A chrysalis is in their future, and on the other side they will be reborn and begin their life anew.

Butterflies have long been used as a metaphor for transformation. Their metamorphosis is spectacular yet relatable. And for those on their own journey of growth and evolution, the presence of a fluttering butterfly can be seen as a spiritual symbol of divine guidance and encouragement.

Unlike caterpillars, we humans do have a choice as to what we will grow into. Or not. We get to decide if we will continue to crawl or learn to fly.

Learning to fly is a messy process. Most human metamorphosis is. Becoming something other than what you’ve always been is a daunting process of unaccepting what you’ve always accepted about yourself as being true, making room for a new empowering story to take its place.

One of the greatest inhibitors to our willingness to fly is who we choose to surround ourselves with. As human caterpillars we are often surrounded by other human caterpillars, those who’ve never grown wings of their own, those who tend to want to keep others wingless as well. Those who’ve never flown can feel threatened by those who decide to do so.

We can easily let the familiarity of what’s always been derail what could be for us, keep us crawling and flightless. After all, if crawling is all we’ve known we can chose to accept that’s all Continue reading “When Butterflies Are Afraid To Fly” →

8,600 Days Of Sobriety

It was like losing an old friend. Consistent. Reliable. Predictable. I recognized the arrangement had grown quite toxic, a toxicity I simply accepted as a fundamental cornerstone of the relationship for far longer than I should have.

Alcohol. A trusted companion which always took me exactly where I thought I wanted to go.

Until I no longer wanted to go there.

This week an important milestone snuck up on me. I had gone 8,600 days without alcohol. A month-long beer binge in December 2000 had pushed me to the point where I knew I needed to stop, at least temporarily. Honestly, the real challenge was seeing if I actually could. Now, over 23 years later, I guess I was able to definitively answer that question.

I never intended to quit drinking. I was simply taking a break, a longer break than usual. For several years prior I had given up beer for Lent, not for any religious purposes, but as a test to see if I could go 40 days without it. My abstinence would start earlier in 2001, six weeks ahead of Lent.

It wasn’t easy. Once my body recovered from what I had done to it in December, it was ready for more. And it wasn’t happy when I told it no. This temporary abstinence was a personal challenge and honestly I was deeply afraid I would fail. Established habits are powerful forces in life, even if those habits don’t serve you.

As I gained some traction with sobriety, I started to wonder how long I could actually keep it up. I’d always taken comfort in knowing Lent would end after 40 days and I’d then be free to go back to my usual intoxicated ways. After all, I never said I was quitting, right?

But this extended Lenten season would be different. The clarity of sobriety created a space of Continue reading “8,600 Days Of Sobriety” →

Square One Is Much Different The Second Time You Start There

I’m sure the heat didn’t help, but the results reminded me of how far I’ve fallen.

Saturday was the day. With my body all stretched out and my running shoes firmly attached to my feet, it was finally time to get back to running. After several sedentary months of working through various ailments I was ready to move again.

I didn’t move very far.

The course was a familiar one, a three mile loop around the neighborhood I’d been running for years. And while I knew running this loop in its entirety for the first time in months would be quite challenging, my months of inactivity were simply no match for my lofty expectations.

Sometimes the body reminds the mind who the boss is.

The run became more of short periods of running between long periods of walking. And I wasn’t happy about it. I’d not run in months, but I am a runner, and I should simply be able to run because that’s what runners do, right? I flashed back to when I first started running eight years ago. I remembered the struggle of simply running the distance between two telephone poles, and now here I am with years of road miles behind me and I’m back to Square One.

When I started running a few years back, I did so embracing a degree of patience. I knew starting Continue reading “Square One Is Much Different The Second Time You Start There” →

Embracing The Discomfort Of Commitment

“It’s like running from Boston to Dallas.”

Julie is a dedicated fitness and wellness professional, and as a personal trainer running has become important to her. She shared that this past week she set a personal record for miles run in a week. Annualized, that total would cover 1,768 miles, the distance from Boston to Dallas.

“That is crazy!”

I sense that people fully committed to meeting their goals encounter that word often. Crazy. Those who show up daily, driven, fueled by a vision others can’t see nor even understand, those with zero tolerance for excuses, those willing to hold themselves accountable for the commitments they have made, especially the ones they’ve made to themselves. Behavior like this is for the most part unordinary, dwelling outside the realm of what is considered “normal” which can then easily be categorized as crazy.

But it’s never labeled as such by others also honoring their own commitments. Because they know what personal commitment demands and they forge ahead anyway.

It’s never the easiest path.

Life give us a choice as to how we decide to live it. We can take what comes our way, or we can Continue reading “Embracing The Discomfort Of Commitment” →

Peter Mis LivingHalfFull.com

Lessons From A Life Unfolding

Tag: growth