Tag: flaws

Maybe The Broken Aren’t Actually Broken?

Maybe The Broken Aren’t Actually Broken?

Sometimes the heaviest things we carry are the judgments we make about ourselves. The belief system about who we tell ourselves we really are. The belief system which influences our expectations and shape our experiences, reinforcing the belief system as a result.

If you take notice, life has proven to be a self-fulfilling prophecy. We do tend to experience what we expect to experience, even if at times we don’t really want to experience it. If paradise was within our reach, our arms would never be fully extended to reach for it if on some level we don’t believe we are supposed to experience it. The weight of our self-judgment will keep us where we’ve convinced ourselves we’re supposed to be. Wanting. Wishing. But never moving beyond where we’ve accepted we are supposed to be.

Life at times can certainly leave us to believe we are broken. Flawed. Defective. Not worthy. Too Continue reading “Maybe The Broken Aren’t Actually Broken?” →

The Only Flaw Is Thinking That You’re Flawed

The Only Flaw Is Thinking That You’re Flawed

It was one of those oversized envelopes stuffed in the mail box. It looked pretty important, unlike most of the things I find stuffed in my mail box.

The manufacturer of my car was notifying me of a recall, something to do with some part of the fuel pump which needed to be replaced. When I called to schedule the service appointment, I was assured this was no big deal. Anthony explained there was some sort of design flaw impacting the original fuel pumps but the new ones are ready to install.

Flaws. In automobiles they’ve figured out how to correct them when the performance of the vehicle isn’t meeting certain standards. In humans, though, flaws are a bit of a different story.

It’s all about the story. 

The story we tell ourselves about ourselves.

At some point in our lives we start to accept certain things about ourselves. And we’re quite good of identifying and accepting the not so good stuff we tell ourselves about ourselves. Flaws, we call them. 

There is a certain peace in accepting your flaws. You’re no longer fighting against yourself. Your acceptance of these limitations and shortcomings act as some sort of loving and Continue reading “The Only Flaw Is Thinking That You’re Flawed” →

The 6 Universal Truths To Accept About Your Life

The 6 Universal Truths To Accept About Your Life

You’d think something as important as life would come with an instruction manual. Buy a new toaster and you’ll learn how to toast bread in several different languages. But life? It forces you to figure it out on your own. It’s a process, a meandering non-linear journey through mountains and valleys of joy and pain just to find a base level of understanding of this thing we call life. For those courageous enough to willingly search within, we often don’t fully understand what we’ve signed up for. But it’s a journey we know we simply need to embark upon. In the darkness we often find the light.

If I were to be tasked with creating an instruction manual for life, I’d include the following six foundational ideals I’ve learned the hard way. The hard way, forged in the fires of my own skepticism, doubt, denial, blame, resistance, and fear.

And finally, acceptance.

Perhaps my trials will save you some trials of your own.

YOU MATTER

At times life gets us to a point where we can question our own value. Our own worth. We can often feel unheard and unseen even by those closest to us, creating an emotionally dangerous space perpetuating the questioning of the significance of our existence.

In the ever-distracted world we all share, our focus is seldom placed upon reminding ourself of of our own significance. And how often are we reminded by others? But in this intentional universe, ever purposefully in its creation, the fact that you and I are here is evidence that we matter, even if we perhaps aren’t quite sure why. There are no spare parts in this intentional universe. It simply doesn’t work that way.

Yes, you matter.

YOU’RE NOT BROKEN AND YOU NEVER WERE

A lot has happened to you since the day you were born. Some of those things have greatly impacted your own sense of self. Of who you are. Of what you think is possible for you.

Humans, including some well-meaning humans, in their attempt to love you and keep you safe, often transplant their own fears and limitations and insecurities into the fertile grounds of a young children’s Continue reading “The 6 Universal Truths To Accept About Your Life” →

Mona Lisa and the Defective Twinkies

Mona Lisa and the Defective Twinkies

All my life they’ve been perfect. Every single one of them. So you can imagine my surprise when I opened the package and I saw something I had never seen before.

A defective Twinkie.

Yup.

It was still a Twinkie, but it was a bit misshaped, as if something happened during the baking process and wasn’t noticed by the quality control people. 

How did I know it was defective? Because I know what Twinkies are supposed to look like. I’ve been eating them all my life. This basis of comparison told me this one just wasn’t what it was supposed to be.

Flawed.

Comparison is a necessary component providing a standard by which all others will be judged. It works perfectly well for Twinkies. 

But not so much for humans.

Us humans tend to be surrounded by countless opportunities to compare ourselves to everyone around us, aren’t we? And what we see or think we see has the ability to impact us greatly if we decide to let it.

We are not Twinkies.

Each year over 400 million perfect Twinkies are produced, but there is and will only ever be just one of each of us. Since there is only one of us, each divinely unique, there can’t be another “perfect” version of us out there to compare ourselves to. With that, there is no legitimate basis of comparison between humans simply because another one of us could never exist. Each of us are a singular once-in-forever expression of our Creation. Defects and flaws, logically, can’t ever exist in a human since each of us are the original masterpiece, the one and the only you. There are no defects or flaws in da Vinci’s “Mona Lisa” simply because there is only one Mona Lisa. Only one. 

Just like you.

Perfect exactly as you were created to be.

Sure, we all have things we’d like to improve about ourselves. I have quite the list of things I am working on. That doesn’t make us defective or flawed; it simply means we’re evolving and growing.

Growing more into who only we were created to become.

Perfectly.

Are You Buying Into The BS of Your Own Imperfection?

Are You Buying Into The BS of Your Own Imperfection?

So, you’re telling me God got it wrong?

Growing up in an industrial mill city here in New England we had our share of factory outlet stores. Not the fancy destination “outlet” malls with food courts we see today. Our factory outlets were an extension of the manufacturing facility where “slightly irregular” items were sold off in an effort to recoup some money on manufacturing mistakes. These imperfect items just didn’t measure up and meet the quality standards demanded by their customers.

It’s logical to expect some manufactured items would end up with some imperfections. But when it comes to people, I just don’t see God as one who makes mistakes.

I was intrigued earlier this week overhearing a conversation about imperfections. The premise surmised personal imperfections are Continue reading “Are You Buying Into The BS of Your Own Imperfection?” →

The Joy of Just Not Knowing

“Life isn’t the way it’s supposed to be. It’s the way it is. The way you deal with it makes all the difference.”  – Virginia Satir

Uncertainty. The problem with uncertainty is that it’s, well, so uncertain. We all strive to avoid uncertainty. In a sea of constant change, we all want to know where the life boats are.

It wasn’t too long ago that life was something you could sort of plan. There was an expectation of stability and predictability as you transitioned from one phase of your life into another. The steps were well worn and well defined; graduation led to the job which led to the marriage which led to the house which led to the children which eventually led to the retirement and the pension from the job which you never left. As predictable and as certain a path as a train on a track.

I was raise in this environment. My Dad worked in the same factory his Dad worked in. The two of them gave their entire working lives to one company, 77 years between the both of them. Why? Because they could. The process, the path, just worked.

HOLES IN THE DREAMBOAT I guess the world has changed a little bit. Certainty, the cornerstone of how life used to be, is long gone. The now-vacant lot where Continue reading “The Joy of Just Not Knowing” →