Tag: empowerment

Good Enough Seldom Is

Good Enough Seldom Is

With clarity and conviction in her voice I could tell she was a woman who knew what she wanted. 

“Margherita pizza, cooked well done, extra basil.” 

Yet when the pizza arrived, it wasn’t done exactly the way she wanted it done. After some initial griping to the other guests at the table about what was served to her, she quietly consumed her undercooked, slightly basil’d pizza, accepting less than what she wanted with every bite.

Why is it that we are so willing to accept less than what we know we want for ourselves?

Sometimes we settle because habitually we’ve always settled. We’ve been conditioned to settle because it’s always been easier and safer to accept less instead of fighting for what we know we want and deserve. Sometimes we don’t ask for what we want for fear of losing what we Continue reading “Good Enough Seldom Is” →

The Desirable Discomfort

The Desirable Discomfort

“Sometimes the only way out is through.”

Recently I reconnected with an old friend. My trail bike. I’d often glance at it hanging on a hook from a rafter in my shed, promising myself that one of these days I’m going to take it out for a ride.

Today was the day.

Not too far from home is a large state forest with miles of trails and unpaved fire access roads, a natural habitat for trail bikes to explore and wander. It had been years since my last ride here but it felt like I hadn’t missed a beat as I headed off on my adventure.

Heavy rains over the past few days made the dirt roads a bit muddy in places, but mud always makes trail bike riding more exciting, more primal. Getting filthy is part of the process and before too long mud was pretty much everywhere. I guess the kid in me has never outgrown his fascination with mud.

As I got deeper into the woods the uneven nature of the roads were partially flooded from the rains. As much as I enjoy mud, I would navigate my bike around the edges of these deep puddles adding a bit more intensity to the ride. But at one point, the road was completely flooded from side to side. Impassable.

Unless I wanted to get very wet.

With trees bordering both sides of the flooded road, I stopped and assessed my options. The “puddle” was a good 30 feet long, I had no idea how deep it was, and there was no dry alternative to get around what was in front of me.

“Sometimes the only way out is through.”

Sitting on my bike contemplating the words of Robert Frost, I knew that to get beyond what was in front of me I would need to go through what was in front of me. There really wasn’t any other Continue reading “The Desirable Discomfort” →

The Healthy Discomfort of Personal Accountability

The Healthy Discomfort of Personal Accountability

Waiting.

For the world to change. For the right time. For someone to share the experience with.

Waiting for what is to be something other than it actually was.

I was an experienced waiter. Over the decades I could find a great many reasons why waiting was better than actually doing. My ever-expanding list of things I told myself I wanted to experience was, well, ever expanding. Talking about climbing a mountain was always easier than actually doing so. Especially when you’re quite adept at “justifying” your own personal stagnation.

“Someday” became quite comfortable.

At some point I grew tired of my own BS. I grew tired of my own voice telling me “someday”. I finally challenged myself to Continue reading “The Healthy Discomfort of Personal Accountability” →

Only You Can Take You To Where You Were Meant To Go

Only You Can Take You To Where You Were Meant To Go

It’s one of my favorite “clarity” rides. Just me, alone in my car, up and out just before dawn, driving in silence. A rare moment of being invisible and unaccountable to anyone else but myself.

Being close to the ocean, this back roads ride takes me to a picturesque harbor in southeastern Massachusetts. It’s always so quiet, and the few people I cross paths with also prefer it that way.

This early in the summer morning the harbor is filled with a great number of sail boats, tied to their moorings, silently bobbing with each gentle wave. They fit perfectly into the idyllic image I have in my head as to what I should expect to find in such a harbor.

I’ve always been somewhat intrigued with man’s ability to harness the unseen forces of nature in order to move himself forward. Especially when harnessing the wind. I know nothing about the mechanics and intricacies of the operation of a sail boat, but there is one universal truth I do know.

Sails only work when they’re open.

On the water.

And in life.

We, in many ways, are like sail boats. We are the vessel that can take us from where we are now to where we tell ourselves we want to be. But only if we are willing to break out of the safe harbor we feel secure in and willing to open our sail fully. Unless our sails are open, the wind is useless. Unless we are receptive and open, the forces of the universe can never be harnessed and propel us forward.

My greatest growth has come from my willingness to untie myself from my emotional mooring and break out of my own safe harbors, harbors often built by thoughts of limitation, unworthiness, and fear. At some point the pain of staying stuck outweighed the pain of moving forward and I began my journey forward, trusting that with open sails I would find the wind to do so.

I’ve always found the wind.

The sailing adventure called my life hasn’t always been smooth. Several times I’ve circled back and other times I’ve felt dead in the water. But the important aspect is that I was in the water, readily committed to moving myself forward, being open and receptive and knowing the forces of the universe would help to get me ever-closer to my destination of becoming more like I was created to become. But only if I was ready.

And I was ready.

The wind always finds the open sails.

What “safe harbors” have you created for yourself which are keeping you from entering the waters of your own life? As you navigate your life, what if you untied yourself from any narratives or stories which have held you back and just headed out and opened your sail fully?

Only you can take you to where it is you know you were meant to go.

The wind will find your open sail, too.

Photo by Vince Veras on Unsplash

Go Unstuck Yourself

Go Unstuck Yourself

Steve grimaced after completing the four-mile hike. He had been favoring his left foot for most of the walk. He sat on the bench, took off his boot, and removed the annoying pebble from his boot. He mentioned the stone found its way into the boot early on in the hike. “So, why didn’t you stop and remove it once you first noticed it?” I asked. “Well”, said Steve, “I guess I just kind of got used to it after a while.”

Ouch!

Life can often feel the same way, can’t it? Disappointments and discomforts become something we just decide to live with, even if on some level we know it doesn’t have to be that way. But sometimes we get stuck in an emotional place for so long we simply accept our temporary situation as our permanent reality.

Perhaps in some areas of your life you’ve gotten used to struggling because you’ve just struggled for so long? Have you settled for being disappointed in a less-than-ideal relationship because that’s just how it’s always been? Or perhaps there’s a career move you’d love to make but you’ve decided your lot in life is for you to stay who you already are instead of becoming all you’ve been created to be? Simply because that’s what you’re used to?
Continue reading “Go Unstuck Yourself” →