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The Most Important Question You Can Ever Ask Yourself

So here’s the question…Do you appreciate you?

No, I didn’t ask if you liked you.

Do you appreciate you?

Do you appreciate all that you already are and all that you were created to become? Do you appreciate all the talents, gifts, and abilities that reside within you? Do you appreciate your voice, your vision, your passion? Do you appreciate the importance of the contribution that only you can make in this world?

Do you appreciate your significance?

Growing up no one ever told me I should appreciate myself.  To be fair, no one ever told me I shouldn’t appreciate myself, either. Appreciation was only a topic of conversation when I would complain about all the stuff I didn’t have. That made me ungrateful and unappreciative. That’s as close as I ever got to discussing appreciation.

WORTHINESS The world has a word for people who consider themselves to be significant. Arrogant. Significance, in order to exist relies on a comparison to insignificance. But the significance I speak of is not an arrogant, ego-based proclamation of superiority over Continue reading “The Most Important Question You Can Ever Ask Yourself” →

Slow Dancing with the Three Sisters of Regret

And just like that, it was over. His life, and what it could have been was never given the opportunity to fully be.

For some reason I was thinking about a tragic event that occurred during my senior year in high school. I don’t know what it was that took me back. Sometimes my thoughts take me to places I never expect to go.

His name was Andrea McCoy. He was a member of the 1980 US Olympic boxing team. The US boxing team was heading to an exhibition in Poland when their plane crashed as it approached Warsaw. On March 14, 1980, 22 members of the team perished, including Andrea.

Andrea and I weren’t that close. We shared home room together, a few laughs, and a few classes. I remember his huge smile and his kind spirit.

I remember his empty seat.

Andrea was given an incredible talent, and for reasons well beyond my understanding, was given only 20 short years on this earth. On Continue reading “Slow Dancing with the Three Sisters of Regret” →

Confessions of an Ugly Snowman

“Daddy, can we go build a snowman?”

It’s been a relatively snowless winter so far here in southern New England. Finally, the snow gods paid us a visit, leaving several inches of the white stuff behind. Suddenly, it was Snowman Season, and my 3-1/2 year old daughter, boots in hand, was smiling from ear to ear.

There’s something very rewarding about building a snowman with a young child. I’m grateful that I can appreciate the gift that it is. Perhaps it allows me to revisit the simplicity of my youth, when the only worry was finding the just-right branch that would become the snowman’s arm. Or perhaps it is my chance to do something with my daughter that my always-working Dad never did with me Continue reading “Confessions of an Ugly Snowman” →

Black Friday at Walmart with Oprah

We’ve made it through the first half of the first month of a new year and I’ve yet to break any of my resolutions. It’s easy to do, especially when you don’t make any.
 
I used to a Resolutioner. I would boldly list all the things I was and wasn’t going to do in the new year. Once the ball dropped in Times Square I could then start to become the person I really wanted myself to be. But the initial euphoria eventually became work, and I eventually turned back into what I was on December 31st.
 
This doesn’t say much about my resolve, especially since I am an avid goal setter and achiever in many areas of my life.
 
Looking back, resolutions, to me, were simply fragmented independent ideas that were never a part of the big picture of my life. They were things that would be nice to achieve but really weren’t worth fighting for. At some point, resolutions tend to become a fight, a fight usually with yourself.
 
I’ve found that creating any significant lasting change in life requires a deeper context.  There needs to be a concrete reason, a fundamental motivation resonating from within our core which drives us to fight on through even when we tell ourselves it’s probably time to quit. An hour on a treadmill gets old real quick when the only goal is to spend an hour on a treadmill. Resolutions that lack depth lack sustainability.
 
“Enough already with the stuff that doesn’t enhance who you really are.”
 
These words from Oprah Winfrey really struck a chord with me. Her words create a new paradigm, a different way to evaluate the choices that I make. Oprah’s words challenge me to know who I really am, and in doing so further challenge me to look at all aspects of my life through an evaluative lense of if and how my thoughts, words, activities, and the world around me enhance who it is I really am.
 
In many ways, new year’s resolutions often feel like Black Friday morning at Walmart. The initial excitement and adrenaline rush eventually fades away when it becomes work, when you’re standing in the checkout line for an hour. But this thought process, the idea of rooting your life choices based upon their ability to enhance who it is you are, provides the perfect context for lasting change.
 
Decisions evaluated within the context of how they will enhance who you really are create the experiences that truly enhance who it is you really are.
 
Here’s to our collective happiness in 2012!
 
It’s a great day to be you!

Giving Yourself A Hug

“Appreciation can make a day, even change a life. Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary.” — Margaret Cousins

 

It’s amazing how powerful our words can be. Simply expressing our gratitude for the people in our lives and for what they contribute reminds them of their value, of their true worth as a person.

This is also true when we express our gratitude for who it is we already are. When we take a moment and remind ourselves of our value and worth, sometimes the life we change is our own.

It’s a great day to be you!

Becoming Your Own Empire State Building

You have a great deal in common with the Empire State Building.

If you choose to see it.

 

New York City inspires me. I don’t get there very often, but whenever I do the city never lets me down. I’ve come to love the scale and grandeur. It’s a place of great energy, a city of hope, possibilities, and dreams. The art, the architecture, the food, the ethnic diversity…all are a part of what makes this city breathe. It’s an amazing place.

Unless you’re like my friends who actually live there. They no longer see what I see.

Perhaps it’s just like anything else. After a while everything just becomes part of the background. The once-vibrant hues that at one time excited us gradually fade to grey. Too often we are surrounded by miracles, yet over time we no longer see anything miraculous.

New York has a lot to notice. The real inspiration, though, comes from actually noticing.

Right now in your immediate space there is a great deal to notice. And a great deal to be inspired about. It doesn’t matter if you’re standing in Times Square or if you’re standing in your living room.

There are many great things about us that we’ve allowed to fade into our own personal backgrounds. Simply because we tend to take ourselves for granted. We no longer see the greatness that lies within us. We no longer see all that we already are and all that we are capable of becoming.

Vibrant hues never really fade to grey; we just stop noticing their color. The vibrant hues that define us are right in front of us, as vibrant as they’ve always been, clearly visible if we allow ourselves a few precious moments to actually see them.

Don’t we owe it to ourselves to simply stop for just a moment to acknowledge and appreciate our own magnificence and significance…to allow ourselves to again be inspired by who it is we already are?

Your life is far too important to simply allow it to fade to grey.

It’s a great day to be you!

 

Embracing Your Inner Rudolph

Rudolph took what society would call a flaw and turned it into his trademark, a defining characteristic.

He’s not alone. The world is full of famous people who did the exact same thing. Look what Cindy Crawford did with her facial mole. Listen to Bob Dylan sing. I’m certain that they were both told their “flaws” would never allow them to fit in, never allow them to be valuable. There would be “no reindeer games” for either of them. But like Rudolph, their “flaws” became their defining characteristics.

But is life really about fitting in to a predetermined profile? As kids we had no concept of fitting in. We just followed our hearts. Nothing was “flawed” because nothing was judged. As we got older, we started buying into the concept of fitting in, empowering the hierarchy of cool. There is no room for individual uniqueness when the goal is fitting in.

We live in a time of judgment where external expectations greatly influence how we evaluate the world around us. Including even how we look at ourselves. We compare everything to the template of how things/people are supposed to be and then judge accordingly.

When you look at you, do you see flaws or defining characteristics?

Within all of us is a beautiful voice, an expression of who we really are. Usually that voice is silenced because we fear that our abilities, dreams, or ambitions are just not good enough. When we decide to silence that voice, we silence our very soul.

Our unique voice was given to us for the sole purpose of bringing it to life and sharing it with the world. Our voice, our glorious gift, is a celebration of who we are, and who we are is above any external expectations or opinions.

It’s a matter of choice, really. We can either empower our perceived flaws or embrace that which defines us.

When you look at it this way it’s really not that hard of a choice, is it?

It’s a great day to be you!

East Berlin, Madonna, and the New Age of Uncertainty

Welcome to East Berlin, 1989. November 10th was the day after the Wall came down. A day filled with justifiable euphoria. But along with the excitement came an emotion that was very much unfamiliar in East Berlin.

Uncertainty.

Life in East Berlin had a great deal of certainty. Oppressive political regimes always do a “great” job of clearly defining responsibilities and expectations for their citizens. But with the collapse of the Wall, the responsibilities and expectations in place for 28 years collapsed as well. The rules suddenly changed and no one knew what the new rules were.

Uncertainty.

Fast forward to now…the Free World, 2011. So where did all the rules go? You know, the rules of how life was supposed to work. The Continue reading “East Berlin, Madonna, and the New Age of Uncertainty” →

Thanksgiving for One

Are you thankful for you?

Thanksgiving the holiday is a time when we pause and express our gratitude for all that we have in our lives. Family, friends, food, shelter, health, possessions and all the things that surround us.

But do you ever stop and give thanks for you?

Think for a moment about who you really are. You are a one-of-a-kind collection of talents, gifts, and abilities that the world has never seen before and will never see again. Within you is everything you’ll ever need to fulfill your divine purpose, including a strength and resilience that has and will continue to allow you to keep moving forward.

You have an unlimited opportunity to continually grow and expand, to become all that your soul is calling you to become. You have an infinite capacity to love and to feel, to touch and to experience all the greatness that resides so abundantly around you. And inside of you is an inextinguishable light which transcends all darkness, a beacon that guides you back home to your own sacred self.

We all do a great job finding what is “wrong” with us, what is missing, how we don’t measure up. We can be so cruel to ourselves when we forget our inherently precious nature. But when we remember who it is we really are we become far more patient, nurturing, and forgiving of ourselves.

Our ability to lovingly reconnect with our authentic self is yet another reason to be thankful for who we are.

Be thankful. For you.

It’s a great day to be you!