Maybe we don’t really need more information.
Maybe we really don’t need any additional clarification.
Maybe we’re just not willing to take action, to start, to change, to become.
Maybe what we call commitments aren’t things we’re actually committed to?
If we’re not willing to grow, we shouldn’t be surprised when we don’t.
Photo by Chris Yang on Unsplash
“Watch out for the bridge…if you hit it wrong you’ll go flying over the handlebars.”
I came to trust Tom very quickly. We were riding side by side on a rather poorly marked trail through the woods and gravel fire roads of a local nature preserve, a 10 mile mountain bike trek to benefit a local charity. The bridge could have been a disaster, but I crossed over with ease.
Tom knew these woods. “I’ve been riding these trails for years”, Tom said, as often as three times a week. As this was my first time riding through the wilderness, I felt rather fortunate to find a guide to help me navigate my way to the finish line.
At a less intense moment on the course Tom mentioned recently celebrating his 76th birthday. I was silently stunned by his revelation. Seventy f’n six? His relentless energy and stamina were Continue reading “Maybe Your Non-Negotiables Actually Are?”
I didn’t expect the results to be good.
And they weren’t.
Standing in a cold wind-driven rain, I, along with several hundred others runners were lined up awaiting the starting gun to fire. The five mile course would meander through the Seaport district and along the frigid waterfront of South Boston. While I was ready for the start I knew I wasn’t ready to run.
But that’s what I was there to do.
The reasons for me not being as ready as I had wanted to be were strictly my own. “Other priorities” would be a convenient reframing of the excuses associated with my lack of being fully Continue reading “The Benefits Of Showing Up Anyway”
On the eve of my next birthday I sit recovering from this morning’s 5k benefit run. Age has a way of reminding you how old you are, especially when you take the steps to hopefully slow it down.
Age will ultimately win. Inevitably it always does. We can let that be a reason to simply let nature take its course and passively succumb to the process.
Or, we can defiantly choose to keep showing up, keep moving forward, respecting our age while Continue reading “A Birthday Gift Of Defiance”
“The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago…”
Afternoon walks have become a welcome break in my work day. It’s a time to simply disconnect from the demands and pressures of the day and reconnect with me. If only for a little while.
On what has become my preferred route, I pass by a stately old home, subtly accentuated with the charming architectural design elements you’d expect to see in a home of this stature. The trees on this property stand equally majestic, beautifully asymmetrical and strong.
It was on a recent walk when I noticed one of the branches on the largest tree in the yard. With the branch running almost parallel to the ground my initial thought was how perfect that branch would have been for a tree swing.
Growing up we had such a swing in our yard, a simple wooden board for the seat supported by two long ropes wrapped around a supportive branch above. Hours were spent on that swing. It was an iconic symbol of my childhood and my intention was to someday re-create the same Continue reading “Watering The Trees That Were Never Planted”
“Anesthesiologist.”
That was Avery’s response when I asked her what she intended to work towards as she’s now a week away from heading off to college. Avery is very intelligent, and when combined with her drive and work ethic she leaves you will the impression that she’ll become anything she wants to become.
On the cusp of an exciting new chapter of her life, her level of excitement and enthusiasm are infectious. She’s worked hard to get to this point and she’s ready to dive in to what’s next.
I have to admit, when I was young and heading off to college my level of enthusiasm was never at the same level as Avery’s. The only thing that was infectious was my indifference and sense of stagnation. Maybe it was my lack of direction or vision for my life, or maybe it was me not being ready or even willing to fully embrace the next chapter of my life.
My relationship with enthusiasm had always put the pressure on other people, external events, and desired outcomes to give me something to be excited about. There was no inner organic sense of enthusiasm to be found, especially as I assumed the responsibilities of being an adult.
In reality, there was plenty to be excited and enthusiastic about. If I simply decided to see life in that way.
One of the most important milestones in my emotional and spiritual evolution was when I began to assume full responsibility for my life experience. When I decided to hold myself accountable Continue reading “Enthusiasm Is Always An Option”
I’m sure the heat didn’t help, but the results reminded me of how far I’ve fallen.
Saturday was the day. With my body all stretched out and my running shoes firmly attached to my feet, it was finally time to get back to running. After several sedentary months of working through various ailments I was ready to move again.
I didn’t move very far.
The course was a familiar one, a three mile loop around the neighborhood I’d been running for years. And while I knew running this loop in its entirety for the first time in months would be quite challenging, my months of inactivity were simply no match for my lofty expectations.
Sometimes the body reminds the mind who the boss is.
The run became more of short periods of running between long periods of walking. And I wasn’t happy about it. I’d not run in months, but I am a runner, and I should simply be able to run because that’s what runners do, right? I flashed back to when I first started running eight years ago. I remembered the struggle of simply running the distance between two telephone poles, and now here I am with years of road miles behind me and I’m back to Square One.
When I started running a few years back, I did so embracing a degree of patience. I knew starting Continue reading “Square One Is Much Different The Second Time You Start There”
Instagram reminded me of an experiment I first saw years ago. Researchers had placed fleas into a glass jar and sealed it shut with the glass lid. Instinctively, the fleas attempted to jump out of the jar to their freedom but with each jump were stymied as they hit the glass lid above them. Frustrated, at some point the fleas simply stopped jumping. And when the researchers removed the glass lid, the fleas remained in the jar, now conditioned to accept their captivity even with the barrier to their freedom removed.
I kind of understand the fleas’ take on this. They tried repeatedly to make it out of the jar without success. At some point, when do you simply stop looking for a way out and accept your limitations and learn to live with them?
As part of my journey, I’ve thought a great deal about my own limitations. Specifically, where did they come from and who put them there? Limitations are an extension of a belief system, and my belief system for a good portion of my life was a belief system I inherited. No one ever sat me down and clearly defined the limitations I would eventually accept as my own. Rather, I witnessed them slowly unfold around me in real time, destined to perpetuate a belief system which I knew wouldn’t serve me but accepted none the less.
The glass ceiling on the jar of my life was never actually there. It didn’t matter, though. I never knew I could actually jump.
Until I decided to started jumping.
The things we choose to believe about who we are and what’s possible for us will greatly shape our identity, which will always shape our life. We can accept the limited version of where we are as some sort of fate or destiny, pointing to our life experience as evidence of such, further conditioned to accept our own form of captivity. Or, we can decide to think outside of the jar, out-jumping the limitations we’ve accepted, free to more fully express ourselves as we choose to redefine our self identity as one of possibility and expansion.
Limitations are simply opinions we’ve accepted as truths. But we get to decide what is true for us.
It doesn’t matter how those limitations got there.
What matters now is what we decide to do with them.
You’ll be amazed at how high you can jump…
Photo by Jilbert Ebrahimi on Unsplash
I have to admit it was a bit unnerving.
I’d never seen a message like it before. It was from my email provider telling me that my email account was full. I’d need to delete some emails in order to create space to receive any new emails. The message was all text, it’s lack of any visible corporate identity greatly added to my overall sense of skepticism about the authenticity of the message. But when I realized I could no longer download any new messages I knew something had actually happened. Maybe my account was hacked?
Nope.
I had, in fact, reached the maximum capacity of emails in my inbox.
I’ve never been good at managing my email accounts. I get lots of emails from sources both known and unknown, and it’s always been easier to simply ignore these intrusive emails instead of taking the time to delete them and unsubscribe from distribution lists I never even knew I was a part of. I guess my “ignore them” strategy wasn’t perfect. Over the years, this particular account had accumulated over 92,000 unread messages, which, apparently, leaves no room to download anything new.
After spending quite some time deleting several thousand unread messages, I was able to create enough space for new messages to be received.
Being disconnected from my email was quite uncomfortable. What if there were important messages I needed to receive? My discomfort was directly related to my habitually holding on to what didn’t serve me, which, in this case, created no room to receive.
Once I resolved my email issues, I began to wonder. Are there other areas in my life where holding on was inhibiting my ability to receive?
Perhaps the greatest inhibitor to our ability to receive life’s greatest blessings is embracing a mindset Continue reading “Creating The Space To Receive”
If there was a movie about that rather dark period of my life, the soundtrack would have to be filled with the music from the band Soul Asylum.
It’s the early 1990’s. I’m moving forward in life, fully transitioned into adulthood, taking a few small steps up a corporate ladder I felt compelled to try and climb. The facade of smiles and joviality, lubricated and enhanced with a steady supply of alcohol, diligently disguised the heaviness of doubt and uncertainty swirling within.
Cue Soul Asylum.
There was a relatable rawness in the lyrics of Soul Asylum’s music. Dave Pirner’s songs of emptiness, loss, longing, vulnerability, and frustration so perfectly captured exactly where I was at that time in my life. Eloquently composed, yet painfully accurate.
But it was his popsicles which always saved me.
Like the sun peeking through an ever gloomy and ominously cloudy sky, one lyrical reference always offered a faint source of light in the musical darkness. Each time I hear these words they always bring me back to a more innocent time in my life.
“Standing in the sun with a popsicle, everything is possible…”
I remembered back when life was a clean slate and everything felt possible. As a kid with the sun washing your youthful face and with a popsicle in your hand, life is a wide open highway ready to take you anywhere you want to go. Until life gradually shows up and experience and expectations turn that wide open highway into an unmarked and unpaved backroad endlessly circling back upon itself.
Life does have a way of ripping the popsicle out of your hand and wiping the smile off your now not-so-youthful face, doesn’t it?
Life does get busy. Life does get hard. Practicality often replacing possibility in the process.
Yet possibility always exists. In the light, in the darkness. In the flow, in the struggle. In the peace, and Continue reading “Popsicles And The Art Of Reclaiming Possibility”
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