Square One Is Much Different The Second Time You Start There

I’m sure the heat didn’t help, but the results reminded me of how far I’ve fallen.

Saturday was the day. With my body all stretched out and my running shoes firmly attached to my feet, it was finally time to get back to running. After several sedentary months of working through various ailments I was ready to move again.

I didn’t move very far.

The course was a familiar one, a three mile loop around the neighborhood I’d been running for years. And while I knew running this loop in its entirety for the first time in months would be quite challenging, my months of inactivity were simply no match for my lofty expectations.

Sometimes the body reminds the mind who the boss is.

The run became more of short periods of running between long periods of walking. And I wasn’t happy about it. I’d not run in months, but I am a runner, and I should simply be able to run because that’s what runners do, right? I flashed back to when I first started running eight years ago. I remembered the struggle of simply running the distance between two telephone poles, and now here I am with years of road miles behind me and I’m back to Square One.

When I started running a few years back, I did so embracing a degree of patience. I knew starting running at an advanced age would be challenging, but I gave myself the grace of knowing it would take time, a process of building upon the success of yesterday as I continued to move forward. I expected the struggle, which made it less of a struggle. Eventually running was no struggle at all.

Square One is much different the second time you start there. 

Starting over is never as much fun as starting was. The view looking up from the base of a mountain you’ve already climbed can be quite daunting. You knew how hard it was the first time and you never expected you’d have to do it again. Yet, here you are. Looking up.

When climbing a mountain for the second time, you do so knowing that you’ve done it before. You rose above the challenges and obstacles and you reached the summit. When I looked past my frustrations and disappointments of being back at Square One again, I was able to remind myself that I am now an experienced runner who knows what it will take to get back to the top of this mountain I’ve scaled before. 

Sometimes experience makes me feel I should be exempt from the process which got me up that mountain the first time. Especially when it comes to patience.

Life often reminds us there are no shortcuts. Growth is a process, and when we find we’re believing ourselves to be above the laws of our own evolution, we are simply undermining the very growth we are seeking. 

I became a runner by embracing and patiently honoring the process of becoming a runner. The only expectation was me showing up, consistently, and getting a little stronger and a little better every time I did so. 

Scaling a mountain can make us arrogant. 

It can also make us wise.

Which one best serves you when you’re standing at Square One once again?

Photo by John Thomas on Unsplash