Surely the world would be much easier for me to navigate if everyone lived and acted in ways which made my life more like I hoped it would be.
But we all know it doesn’t quite work that way.
You can wait a very long time if you’re waiting for the world to change.
How often do we look at people, events, and situations and wish they were different from how they actually are, hoping they would change to better accommodate our growth or happiness? We point to them as the reason for our inner frustrations and unhappiness. Somehow we’ve come to view them as variables which can be changed and manipulated, for our benefit, only to become more frustrated when they don’t.
The people whom we wish would change are actually more like constants. Mathematically, constants are known values, already defined and unchanging. In relationships we can often view ourselves as the constants, unchangeable nor should we have to. We tell ourselves we are not the problem.
We, actually, are the variables.
Time, bitterness, and desperation have finally taught me in my life I have always been the variable. Because I have always been the one who can change. If I wanted to. I am the one who gets to decide how I see the world and my place in it. I get to decide how much I will allow myself to evolve. After all, my evolution as a human is my responsibility. I can’t really blame where I am at in life on others’ unwillingness to be who I “need” them to be, no matter how convenient that would be.
So many years I had spent wishing, waiting, and wondering when the world would be what I needed it to be. Yes, it gets rather frustrating when the people you hoped would change simply don’t. And the more I think about it, the more absurd those expectations actually were. But had I somehow coerced others to be as I wanted them to be I never would have learned such a valuable lesson.
Frustration is often a rather unexpected spiritual teacher.
I don’t know how I got to the point where I learned to blame others and situations for my problems. But I knew where I wasn’t in my life and it takes a great deal of maturity to look deeply inside yourself and contemplate that perhaps you are your own greatest problem. It takes even more maturity to realize that you are also your own greatest solution as well.
Sometimes we look for others to change because we don’t think we are good enough, smart enough, or worthy enough to find the answers we may be looking for on our own. So we shift the burden of our happiness to someone else, expecting them to fill an emotional void which we can’t ever seem to fill on our own. But like most of the aha! moments I’ve experienced on my spiritual journey, the answers have always been within me. Those answers become quite clear only when I reconnect with my own divinity and accept the perfection of my own creation and the innate worthiness which comes with it.
My peace and happiness required no one to change but me.
Who needs to change for you to find your peace and happiness?
It’s a great day to be you!