Re-learning How To Love Yourself

The white van wrapped around a tree just off the highway was a stark reminder.

Mid-week we were greeted by our first significant snow storm of the season. The timing of the storm kept many off the roads, but those of us who decided to head into the office were met with some significant commuting challenges. Just ask the driver of the white van.

Snow still brings out the kid in me. But with the first major snowfall of the year, the kid in me took a back seat to the adult driver in me as I navigated the yet unplowed interstate.

Driving in snow demands a fully present version of me, especially when it’s been quite some time since the last time I needed to. The infrequency of driving in these elements requires me to essentially re-learn how to actually do so. With my hyper attentiveness I notice everything. I notice the distance between the car in front of me and the one behind me. I notice any visible lane markings. I notice the level of traction the tires have with the road. I notice the responsiveness of the steering. I notice my mind planning for unforeseen contingencies.

I notice everything.

Most of the time driving is simply instinctive. We get in the car and obliviously go, often ending up at our destination seemingly unconsciously, distracted by music, podcasts, and phone calls along the way. Driving in less than ideal conditions is far more intentional and deliberate, with our awareness keeping us fully present in the process. It’s a process I need to re-learn every winter with every first snow.

Life can often feel instinctive. We get up each day and just obliviously go, going through our days seemingly unconsciously, distracted by the same things which distracted us yesterday and the day before. Sometimes life creates some less than ideal conditions for us to experience, internally or externally, and our unconscious almost automatic life now requires our full attention. Life becomes far more intentional and deliberate, we become more fully present in the process.

If we choose to.

Living a more intentional and deliberate life is a decision we get to make. In any moment. We need not wait for life’s storms of illness, heartbreak, and disillusion to push us to our breaking point in order to do Continue reading “Re-learning How To Love Yourself” →

Your Children Are Watching

It’s my greatest joy. Being their dad. It’s less common these days to have them all together in the same place, but Father’s Day and here we all are together.

Yes, my greatest joy.

But also my greatest responsibility.

As their Dad, I am their example. While I hope they listen to what I say, what I do is always more important than what I say. And I know they are watching.

They’re always watching.

How I choose to show up in my life will impact how they show up in their own. Will they see me taking responsibility for my life? Will they see how I honor the commitments I make to others and the commitments I make to myself, how I speak to others and how I speak to myself? How I handle failure and adversity, how I rise to overcome, how I live with intention, how I respect myself, how I am willing to Continue reading “Your Children Are Watching” →

Today Is A Great Day To Forgive Yourself

That stuff we carry around. And we’re all carrying stuff around. Even though we don’t have to. Yet, we do. Because we always have. It becomes a part of the story we tell ourselves.

It’s not a great story.

It starts with regret. What we did do, or, more often, what we didn’t do.

And while the regret hurts, what really hurts is how we treat ourself because of it.

We could have made a different choice and we will ruthlessly never allow ourselves to forget it. We can be quite cruel towards others, but don’t we tend to save the cruelest stuff for ourself?

I’ve had my share of regrets. I could probably teach a weekend workshop on the subject, including how to never let yourself get over it, how to mercilessly never let yourself off the hook no matter how many years ago it may have been.

Forgiveness of others is often easier than forgiveness of self.

Forgiveness of self requires two people. The person you are now and the person you were then. The person I am now can see that the person I was then did the best that he could at that time. The person I am now, a bit older and a bit wiser, is able to look back with a compassionate understanding and acceptance of the person I was then.

The person that I am today would be better served if I stopped beating down the person I used to be.

Forgiveness of self is perhaps the greatest example of unconditional love.

We all deserve to be loved unconditionally.

Especially from ourself.

Photo by Matthew Henry on Unsplash

The True Gift Of Gratitude

As a kid, one of the best parts of my birthday was receiving birthday cards from my uncles and grandparents. Especially those cards designed specifically to hold cash. In all honesty, it was never about the card; I was really only excited about what was in the card.

It wasn’t a lot of money, but it was money. Just because I was born!

The rule back then was quite simple. You picked up the phone and called to thank the elders who sent the cash your way. Failure to acknowledge their generosity was a sure-fired way to get on the Ungrateful List. Kids on the Ungrateful List usually never saw those cards designed specifically to hold cash ever again.

I was happy to receive the cash, and always made the thank you calls. But my gratitude was laced with self-serving elements. I wanted to ensure Continue reading “The True Gift Of Gratitude” →

Becoming Your Own Mother

When I think of motherhood, the one word which comes to mind is love. Actually, I need two words…

Unconditional love.

I’ve felt it as a son, and I see it in my wife’s eyes as we raise our three daughters.

Unconditional love isn’t always pretty. It is often loud, sometimes quite contentious. Sometimes it doesn’t even feel like love at all.

But underneath the drama and the slamming doors, the love of a mother is always there.

Continue reading “Becoming Your Own Mother” →

Peter Mis LivingHalfFull.com

Lessons From A Life Unfolding

Tag: “unconditional love”