Tag: patience

Re-learning How To Love Yourself

Re-learning How To Love Yourself

The white van wrapped around a tree just off the highway was a stark reminder.

Mid-week we were greeted by our first significant snow storm of the season. The timing of the storm kept many off the roads, but those of us who decided to head into the office were met with some significant commuting challenges. Just ask the driver of the white van.

Snow still brings out the kid in me. But with the first major snowfall of the year, the kid in me took a back seat to the adult driver in me as I navigated the yet unplowed interstate.

Driving in snow demands a fully present version of me, especially when it’s been quite some time since the last time I needed to. The infrequency of driving in these elements requires me to essentially re-learn how to actually do so. With my hyper attentiveness I notice everything. I notice the distance between the car in front of me and the one behind me. I notice any visible lane markings. I notice the level of traction the tires have with the road. I notice the responsiveness of the steering. I notice my mind planning for unforeseen contingencies.

I notice everything.

Most of the time driving is simply instinctive. We get in the car and obliviously go, often ending up at our destination seemingly unconsciously, distracted by music, podcasts, and phone calls along the way. Driving in less than ideal conditions is far more intentional and deliberate, with our awareness keeping us fully present in the process. It’s a process I need to re-learn every winter with every first snow.

Life can often feel instinctive. We get up each day and just obliviously go, going through our days seemingly unconsciously, distracted by the same things which distracted us yesterday and the day before. Sometimes life creates some less than ideal conditions for us to experience, internally or externally, and our unconscious almost automatic life now requires our full attention. Life becomes far more intentional and deliberate, we become more fully present in the process.

If we choose to.

Living a more intentional and deliberate life is a decision we get to make. In any moment. We need not wait for life’s storms of illness, heartbreak, and disillusion to push us to our breaking point in order to do Continue reading “Re-learning How To Love Yourself” →

I Found Your Broken Heart On The Beach

I Found Your Broken Heart On The Beach

You’d think with all the miles I’ve walked on beaches over the years this would have happened sooner.

But there it was, at my feet.

A heart-shaped stone.

I’ve jealously seen a great many heart-shaped stones posted on social media, many from beaches I’ve actually walked on. Yet never had I seen one in real life. But there it was.

And it was broken.

The symmetrical shape of the symbol we equate with love wasn’t quite perfectly symmetrical. A small section on the upper left side had broken off, the roughness of the break contrasted against the weathered rounded and smoothed surface of the rest of the stone.

I found a broken heart on the beach.

This broken heart got me to thinking about the symbolism it may contain. Was there some significance in such a find? Was there a particular message or lesson behind me being in the right place at the right time to discover a fractured heart right in front of me?

A broken stone heart is easily seen. A human broken heart is much more difficult to see, the fractures and pain concealed within, with facades of smiles and laughter concealing the hurt even further.

Most of us with some years behind us carry within our own asymmetrical heart, a heart fractured and broken by the impact of simply being human, of simply being alive. Maybe finding this broken heart was to remind me that while broken hearts, specifically the human ones, can never be perfectly fixed, they can be cared for with love, kindness, patience, and understanding.

Hurt is universal.

So, too, is our capacity to respond with compassion.

Towards your heart.

And mine.

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Life Lessons From A Brick Oven Pizza

Life Lessons From A Brick Oven Pizza

It was the best pizza I’ve ever had.

And I’ve eaten a lot of pizza.

Pizza has somehow become rather important to me. I’ve baked my fair share of pies and I’m always trying to improve my results, often reverse engineering each bite of my favorite pizzas to try and uncover the secrets hidden inside. Having done my best to befriend my server she eventually revealed the four ingredients used to make the dough which I hoped to replicate at home.

“Flour, water, salt, and yeast” is what she told me.

“And…time.”

Time. An often overlooked ingredient. Time is what’s needed for flour, water, salt, and yeast to come together and fully develop their flavor profile. While some may try to manipulate the process, like most things in life the best results usually can’t ever be rushed.

Ours is a world at odds with patience. It’s a world which rewards the immediate, even if the immediate is inferior to what could instead be more fully developed if given the time to do so.

As I’ve worked to more fully evolve in life, I’ve come to understand that my evolution is a process, a process which takes time. At times I, too, am at odds with patience, trying to force a process which Continue reading “Life Lessons From A Brick Oven Pizza” →

The Art Of Overcoming The Discomfort Of Growth

The Art Of Overcoming The Discomfort Of Growth

I think it was Kaylee’s first day working the register. The long line certainly didn’t ease any of her nervousness as she cautiously entered each item into the POS terminal.

Everyone in line demonstrated an admirable level of patience as she worked under the guidance of the store manager standing by her side. Even I demonstrated my own admirable level of patience as I awaited Kaylee to ring up the two large iced teas I held in my hands. Patience in these types of situations wasn’t something I was known for. Age brings with it a new level of awareness and maturity and I was able to give Kaylee the space she deserved to be new at something.

Hey, at some point in our lives we’ve all been new at something, right?

But did we always give ourselves a safe space for us to be new at something? To allow ourselves to be imperfect in the process?

Sometimes New comes with the expectation that I will seamlessly grasp that something New rather quickly. That my learning curve will not be a curve at all. That I am somehow exempt from the process Continue reading “The Art Of Overcoming The Discomfort Of Growth” →

And So, Too, The Expectation of Spring

In my weaker moments all I see is the ugliness left behind. Cold. Colorless. This winter here in New England has been relentless, with many questioning if will ever end.

Patience and faith, though, can get you through most anything.

This week I went out for my first run of the year. We caught a few hours of sunshine and some warmth and I figured I better take advantage of it. It felt like Spring was on it’s way, the sun on my face blinding me to the dirty and melting snow banks bordering both sides of the road. This day was a glimpse of what lies ahead.

Like all seasons, Spring is predictable. It’s going to arrive. But to get to Spring you need to get through Winter first. Winter’s wrath can be somewhat tempered knowing that at some point Spring will be here and the ground now covered in white will eventually be green and lush. The season of grey will be overtaken by the vibrant colors of Spring. It happens every year.

THE INEVITABLE RENEWAL Life has it’s seasons as well. Seasons of light, seasons of darkness. Life’s seasons, though, are not conveniently marked on the calendar a year in advance. Far less predictable, life is. But what is needed during the times of our own personal winter is the faith and belief in knowing our own personal spring will eventually arrive. We need to reacquaint ourselves with the seasonal nature of our spiritual world and move forward with trust in our own rebirth and resurrection.

The cold, barren personal winters are never welcomed but when they do show up will often have something to teach us. How we handle our personal winter lets God know we are ready for our personal spring.

Looking through my window, I know in due time the 3 feet of snow will melt away and the melting process will in fact nurture the grass and trees and flowers with an abundance of water needed to help them flourish in the coming season. Each season pays it forward, providing an invaluable gift for the next one.

LOOKING BEYOND LOGIC How do you handle your own personal winters? Are the unwelcome barren and colorless times in your life met with thoughts of resentment, anger, and bitterness? For most of my life that was my conditioned response. Things were supposed to happen on my terms and time frame. My challenge was to look beyond what was right in front of me and to trust that the cyclical nature of seasons would once again guide me to where I really needed to be. Simple, yes, but not always easy.

My resentment, anger, and bitterness only served to prolong my resentment, anger, and bitterness. Not a great way to go through life no matter how justified the emotions may feel.

The snows of your personal winter will prepare your for your own lush green spring. Even if all you see right now is snow.

Patience and faith can get you through most anything.

And so, too, the expectation of Spring.

What are you expecting?

It’s a great day to be you!

Giving Thanks For The Things That Piss Me Off

Thank you, you idiot driver, for driving too slow in the high-speed lane and making me late. Thank you, you inconsiderate grocery shopper, for dumping 20 items on the conveyor belt of the 12-items-or-less express register aisle.

Thank you. For pissing me off.

I’ve come to appreciate such moments, the moments when I am in emotional overdrive with everyone and everything getting under my skin. Why? Because I’ve learned my reaction to the world in front of me says so much about the world inside of me. When my responses are laced with rage and anger and my thoughts and words become confrontational and judgmental, it tells me that real problem here is more about me than with the ones who have managed to push my buttons.

I tell my kids life usually never goes as planned and when it doesn’t what you do next is the important thing. Sometimes I need to take my own advice. Life so often is a test, those moments when life Continue reading “Giving Thanks For The Things That Piss Me Off” →

Something to Think About…#19

“I have just three things to teach: simplicity, patience, compassion. These three are your greatest treasures.”    

— Lao Tzu 

In the material world, it is often difficult to see simplicity, patience, and compassion as “greatest treasures”. So much of our collective energy is focused on the attainment of possessions, position, and approval, all external by their very nature. All polar opposites of simplicity, patience, and compassion. 

A life where these three internal attributes flourish is an enlightened life. It is a life where the material becomes immaterial, where stressful frustration is displaced by trusting and knowing, and love guides all that you do.

Embrace the transformative power of these three “greatest treasures”.