How Deep Is Your Love?

How Deep Is Your Love?

I was told there’s nothing to see there.

Which is why I wanted to see it.

It’s 7:30 AM and right on schedule the ferry pulled away from the dock for the one hour ride to New Shoreham, a small island off the coast of Rhode Island. A booming summer tourist hotspot, the island is in full hibernation mode on this frigid December morning. Cold, isolated, and barren.

It’s exactly what I had hoped for.

I’m not sure when a ritual becomes a tradition, but for the past several years I select one day in late December to become somewhat invisible and inaccessible. A spiritual spa day of sorts, where I find myself in cold, isolated, and barren locations in coastal Massachusetts and Rhode Island wonderfully alone, embarking on long hikes in solitude where the only voice I hear is the one in my head. 

These days are important days. These are the days of reflection, release, realignment, and reconnection. This is a safe space for me to be honest with me about me. A kind and loving space where I allow myself to process and unpack the heaviness life sometimes throws upon your shoulders and your heart. In this space there is no agenda nor the pressure of needing to Continue reading “How Deep Is Your Love?”

Defiant Enthusiasm

Defiant Enthusiasm

“Five golden rings!”

It’s amazing how much noise 132 elementary school students can make. But there they were, on stage for the annual Holiday concert belting out “The 12 Days of Christmas” for a very appreciative audience.

It was a beautiful noise.

These kids were fully animated. Each day of the 12 included a visual interpretation of each gift given, from lords a-leaping to maids a-milking. Their enthusiasm was so infectious the crowd began to mimic the actions of the kids from their seats. Even Santa, who was sitting in the room, joined in as well. 

The enthusiasm and energy these kids brought this day was genuine and real. They showed up, lined up, and dove all the way in. The innocence of youth provides plenty of room for joyous enthusiasm to be fully expressed.

For the rest of us, well, enthusiasm feels like a lot more work.

Life does have a way of trying to beat the enthusiasm out of us adults, doesn’t it? Enthusiasm is Continue reading “Defiant Enthusiasm”

Creating A Safe Space For The Suck

Creating A Safe Space For The Suck

It’s a game I’ve played with myself. Or maybe it was more of a survival mechanism.

I’d always been a big fan of the present moment. Unless I didn’t like the present moment. Then I’d find another moment somewhere in the future to save me from the discomfort of the present one.

I got quite proficient at using desired future outcomes to try and outrun the emotional challenges I could often find myself dealing with. Someday took the pressure off today. Someday allowed me to defer my responsibility of dealing with what is until some time in the distant future. Reaching those desired outcomes would take care of everything, I repeatedly told myself.

And they never did.

I’ve run away enough to know that running away never gets you anywhere else other than where you already are.

Someday is full of those distant utopian promises which we allow to sustain us at the expense of Continue reading “Creating A Safe Space For The Suck”

Dear Intuition, I’m Sorry

Dear Intuition, I’m Sorry

Something told me it was wrong, but I just kept going anyway.

It was a perfect day for a ride through the woods. Crisp but not cold, and the morning sun was filtering through the colorful leaves of the season. It was the annual 10 mile charity trail race taking me and my mountain bike through gravel fire roads and off-road grass and root-covered trails within the confines of a local conservation reserve. 

Half way through the course and things were looking good. I was making good time and my legs felt strong. Ahead of me was another rider who had passed me a bit earlier. With the course poorly marked it felt good to have someone in the distance ahead of me to guide me through the remainder of the ride.

Or so I thought.

As we both headed down the only paved section of the course I noticed the open gate of a fire road which looked somewhat familiar. I participated in this event a year ago and I remember the Continue reading “Dear Intuition, I’m Sorry”

The Energy Of Everything

The Energy Of Everything

Who knew pastrami could get so contentious?

Scrolling through a social media feed and there it was. A monster of a sandwich being showcased by a New York City deli. Pastrami stacked perhaps 6 inches high towering over the two little pieces of bread failing miserably in their attempt to hold the whole thing together.

I’m not a fan of pastrami, but the photo intrigued me and I found myself diving into the comments made on the post in hopes of learning more about this pastrami masterpiece.

What I learned was even a discussion about pastrami was not exempt from turning hostile.

Any discussion about any type of food is expected to be lively. We are all protectively territorial when it comes to defending our culinary turf. Here, though, the topic of conversation shifted away from the sandwich and devolved into personal attacks which went well beyond food.

Yet another reason for me to dislike pastrami.

What I really dislike is the hostility.

There is good money to be made leveraging hostility and division, especially on social media. Continue reading “The Energy Of Everything”

The Life Defining Decision

The Life Defining Decision

“Perhaps it’s an age thing?” 

That was the unexpected response I received when I attempted to explain what could best be described as a life reset process I’ve found myself experiencing. Turning 60 a few years ago I’ve found myself re-evaluating my life priorities. What really matters? Who really matters? How I spend my time and who I spend my time with. Yes, maybe it was an “age thing”, but it served as a catalyst for me deciding to become far more aware and intentional about my life.

Sometimes the demands of family and work responsibilities don’t allow much time to live a more priority-driven life. But that big birthday felt like a wake up call of sorts, with life nudging me to re-evaluate just about every aspect of my life. Not because I had a bad life, but because I wanted to make sure the life I was living moving forward was aligned with the life I truly wanted to live.

As we age we strive to take better care of ourselves physically to ensure our mobility and flexibility. We exercise and we feed our bodies what it needs to be healthy. But how often do we give ourselves an inner check-up in order to better understand how to take better care of ourselves emotionally?

I’ve collected a great deal emotional baggage over the past six decades. The inevitable peaks and valleys of life have shaped me and influenced my life outlook and expectations. As I now move forward in life, much of my re-evaluation process involves looking more closely at those outlooks and expectations. If my past has the power to influence my future, shouldn’t I decide what from my past I want to take with me into my future?

My attitudes, mindsets, beliefs, and habits have all gotten me to where I am today. But are those Continue reading “The Life Defining Decision”

Smackin’ The Piñata Of Life

Smackin’ The Piñata Of Life

There’s a pony hanging from a hook above my desk. It’s small, colorful, and made out of whatever a piñata is made out of. It’s there to remind me of one of life’s most important lessons.

I remember the many birthday parties, rope thrown over a low-hanging branch holding the piñata in position for the kids lined up to take a few swings at in hopes of cracking the thing wide open and spewing candy all over the ground at the base of the tree.

The life lesson?

The candy doesn’t just fall out by itself.

As grown ups, our candy comes in a different form. It takes the shape of our hopes and dreams and aspirations. The things we want to experience and become. The life we want to live. Those hopes and dreams and aspirations are dangling in front of us. But unless we are willing to line up and take consistent swings at the piñata of life all that we want for ourselves will remain within our sights yet out of our reach.

The piñata above my desk reminds me that the life I want to live needs me to show up, to step up, Continue reading “Smackin’ The Piñata Of Life”

An Unscheduled Detour On The Long Road To Nowhere

An Unscheduled Detour On The Long Road To Nowhere

It’s an unusual feeling, running ahead of schedule. But there I was driving into work when that little voice spoke up.

“Back roads?”

The seed was planted and on this particular morning, and with a bit of a grin, I took the next exit off the interstate and decided to take the long way into the office. For the next 45 minutes I’d meander somewhat aimlessly through the old country roads in total silence.

Because, why not?

From a quantifiable productivity level, heading into work would have been far more beneficial. More time to get more stuff done. On most days I’d opt for the increased productivity. But some days there is an unquantifiable productivity of meandering intentionally on the road headed to no particular destination.

I’ve know these back roads my entire life. They’ve seen all sorts of different versions of me. The angry me, the frustrated me, the uncertain me, and even a peaceful me from time to time. These Continue reading “An Unscheduled Detour On The Long Road To Nowhere”

Is Your One & Only Life Worth It?

Is Your One & Only Life Worth It?

I was a bit confused as I watched him walk carefully over the jagged granite rocks exposed by the low tide. When he finally stopped, he took out his camera and he began to capture images of the weathered lighthouse precariously situated above him on the shore.

When he made his way back to where I was standing we stuck up a light conversation about how beautiful the scenery was. At some point I asked about his journey out over the rocks to take some photos and he just smiled. When he showed me a few of the images he shot from that vantage point I started to smile, too. They were stunning, taken from an unconventional angle which added an element of unexpected magnificence. 

“Sometimes all you really need to do is to put yourself in position to succeed.”

There are easier ways to take a photo of a lighthouse. But he wasn’t looking for easy, he was looking to create something far more spectacular.

That’s exactly what he did.

I’ve been thinking about the significance of his words. Not in terms of photography but in life. Of Continue reading “Is Your One & Only Life Worth It?”

Reapplying The Vision Of Your Life

Reapplying The Vision Of Your Life

It was time to do something special.

For my car.

Gassing up, I caught a glimpse out of the corner of my eye. A car wash. The car was on the filthy side and for some reason on this random day I decided to spend a couple of bucks and clean it up a bit.

I stopped at the kiosk as I approached the entrance. There I was presented with six different car wash options ranging from the basic wash to “The Works”. I don’t recall the exact name of the option I selected, but once my credit card payment was accepted the light turned green and into the wash bay I went.

All through the washing process a large LED indicator would light up and tell me exactly where we were in the cycle. Pre-Rinse, Foam Soak, Undercarriage Wash. Even Rain-X.

I wish they made Rain-X for humans.

The repellent nature of Rain-X causes water to bead up and easily run off coated surfaces, especially windshields. And sure enough with the final rinse of the washing process the water had nothing to cling to now that the car had just been coated.

As a human, sometimes things cling to me. Things get stuck, often becoming emotional things, Continue reading “Reapplying The Vision Of Your Life”