Tag: joy

A Gift We Are All Able To Give

A Gift We Are All Able To Give

“You weren’t home so she left it in the mailbox.”

The message was from a neighbor. His eight year old daughter Kenzie had stopped by but no one answered the door. Kenzie was going door to door dropping off the hand-painted Christmas ornaments she had made to all the houses in our small neighborhood. When we got home, I looked in the mailbox and there it was. A blue snowflake with a white string looped through the top. 

It was beautiful. 

On many levels.

Kenzie and her family had moved into the neighborhood a few years ago. For the most part we’d exchanged pleasantries when we’d encounter each other walking past or driving by each others homes. We’d been neighborly, but not to the point of exchanging holiday gifts.

Apparently Kenzie didn’t let that concern her, never getting caught up in the nature of neighborhood dynamics. She just wanted to create something and share it with each of her neighbors. 

So, she did.

Honestly, her kind gesture felt as if I was living in some idilic Hallmark movie in the perfect Continue reading “A Gift We Are All Able To Give” →

The Soul Knows What The Soul Really Needs

The Soul Knows What The Soul Really Needs

I’ve outgrown quite a bit in my life.

People. Situations. Belief systems. Excuses.

But I’ve never outgrown the scent of a brand new box of crayons.

I’m not exactly sure what it is. Maybe it brings me back to a much simpler time of my life. Maybe it reminds me of a time of unlimited possibilities where my imagination could colorfully come alive with a clean sheet of paper and a crayon in my hand. Maybe it prompts me to remember how much joy I was once able to experience by simply expressing myself creatively.

Somehow in exchange for growing up we are often forced to grow out of some of the activities which brought us so much happiness as a child. I guess we’re supposed to find more age-appropriate sources of joy. That upward spiral toward such joy often demands “bigger and Continue reading “The Soul Knows What The Soul Really Needs” →

Christmas In July At The Beach

Christmas In July At The Beach

“Sunblock?”

“Cooler?”

“Towels?”

“Christmas tree?”

I’m not sure how long it takes for a tradition to become a tradition, but for the past few years we’ve celebrated Christmas in July. At the beach. I’m not sure why we started doing this in the first place. I’d seen photos of decorated Christmas trees on beaches primarily in the southern hemisphere where Christmas falls during their summer. It looked like a fun thing to do here. 

One year after Christmas we got a great deal on a six-foot artificial tree and some cheap plastic ornaments and put them aside for a day in July. I even found a Santa bathing suit. 

The tradition was born.

Setting up our tree for the first time was met with a weird curiosity by those beaching next to us. Their glances had a “what the hell are these people doing?” vibe to them. Once the tree was up Continue reading “Christmas In July At The Beach” →

Your Children Are Watching

Your Children Are Watching

It’s my greatest joy. Being their dad. It’s less common these days to have them all together in the same place, but Father’s Day and here we all are together.

Yes, my greatest joy.

But also my greatest responsibility.

As their Dad, I am their example. While I hope they listen to what I say, what I do is always more important than what I say. And I know they are watching.

They’re always watching.

How I choose to show up in my life will impact how they show up in their own. Will they see me taking responsibility for my life? Will they see how I honor the commitments I make to others and the commitments I make to myself, how I speak to others and how I speak to myself? How I handle failure and adversity, how I rise to overcome, how I live with intention, how I respect myself, how I am willing to Continue reading “Your Children Are Watching” →

The Happiness Contingencies Are Making You Unhappy

The Happiness Contingencies Are Making You Unhappy

“Then I’ll be happy.”

Nervously I stood in front the bathroom scale. Would today be the day? I’d been working to hit my weight goal. This could be the day.

Left foot. Then the right foot. The LED numbers spinning like a slot machine as the scale calculated my weight.

The numbers stopped.

Bingo!

I did it.

And, honestly, it was rather disappointing.

I finally decided (for at least the third time!) that I was going to shed a few pounds. The goal was to shed 40 of them. Through a rather unhealthy process of excessive exercise and excessively limiting total caloric intake, slowly the pounds came off. Over a period of a few months there was a bit less of me each week. And on the day I lost the last of those 40 pounds I was both happy and almost immediately not so happy.

I expected it to feel different.

Expectations have a way of doing that.

Sure, I had hit my goal. But my expectations were more than just hitting a number on the scale. I was expecting this accomplishment to make me happy. Like, acheiving this goal would somehow cure my nagging and ever-present feeling of unhappiness and emptiness. Like, this was supposed to change far more than the size of my jeans. But instead, I was the same unhappy and empty me that I’d always been, now just 40 pounds lighter.

For most of my life I was quite good at creating happiness contingencies. Those “I’ll be happy when…” parameters. Once the goal or a desired outcome was achieved, only then would I allow myself to be happy. The reality, though, even with the goal attained, I never really did allow myself to be happy.

There was still more work to do.

Sure, I won a battle but I still needed to finish the war. No matter how well I performed in my work life or personal life there would be very little space for joy celebrating my success. There was simply more work to do. No time to rest, Peter. No time to be happy. The war continued on.

Maybe you can relate?

“I’ll be happy when…” is ever elusive. Because you never quite get to happy. It’s a never ending cycle. I didn’t enjoy my weight loss progress. Instead of being happy when I lost the first 10 pounds, my focus was on the 30 pounds still to go.

There was still more work to do.

What happiness contingencies do set in your life? What are you waiting for to happen before you’ll allow yourself to be happy?

My journey has taught me that happiness doesn’t need to be contingent upon an outcome. It can simply be a decision to find joy in the process, a decision to celebrate the individual steps of the journey. It doesn’t mean life is always happy, but removing such restrictive parameters on happiness has allowed me to experience far more of it.

Life gives us many reasons to simply celebrate life itself. And when you learn to celebrate the magnificence of your own existence, you’ll allow yourself to find an endless reservoir of things to be happy about right now.

No contingencies need.

I’ll be happy when…

I decide to be.

Photo by Danie Franco on Unsplash

Picking Sunflowers in the North Pole

Picking Sunflowers in the North Pole

There’s a reason you’ve never seen a sunflower plant in any image depicting the North Pole.

Sunflowers don’t grow there.

Plants are at the mercy of their environment. The proper soil, the mix of nutrients, the amount of water, temperature, and sunshine can mean life or death to a plant. So many external variables impact their viability and growth.

And there’s not a single thing a plant can do about it.

As humans, we, too, are greatly impacted by the environments we find ourselves in. Some environments are conducive to growth and thriving, while others will never let us Continue reading “Picking Sunflowers in the North Pole” →