Good Enough Seldom Is

With clarity and conviction in her voice I could tell she was a woman who knew what she wanted.

“Margherita pizza, cooked well done, extra basil.”

Yet when the pizza arrived, it wasn’t done exactly the way she wanted it done. After some initial griping to the other guests at the table about what was served to her, she quietly consumed her undercooked, slightly basil’d pizza, accepting less than what she wanted with every bite.

Why is it that we are so willing to accept less than what we know we want for ourselves?

Sometimes we settle because habitually we’ve always settled. We’ve been conditioned to settle because it’s always been easier and safer to accept less instead of fighting for what we know we want and deserve. Sometimes we don’t ask for what we want for fear of losing what we Continue reading “Good Enough Seldom Is” →

It Always Falls Back On Me, Doesn’t It?

Maybe I didn’t think I was qualified for the job.

And when you don’t think you can do the job, the logical thing to do is to find someone else who you think can.

But some things you can’t outsource.

Like your peace, your happiness, your emotional well being.

When you accept the reality that you are, in fact, the only one qualified for the job of finding your own peace, happiness, and emotional well being, the sooner you’ll stop expecting others to find them or be them for you.

Ready?

Photo by Tj Holowaychuk on Unsplash

The Unexpected Peace Of Acceptance

Who knew such lessons could be contained in an eight foot section of rope?

A few years back I was humbled by a jump rope. One of the exercises in this particular fitness class I had signed up for involved jumping rope, something I’d not done in decades. But, how hard could it be? After all, it’s jumping rope, like riding a bicycle. You just pick up where you left off, right?

As I awkwardly spun the rope over my head, for the life of me I just couldn’t time my jumps correctly as the rope swung towards my feet. No grace. No elegance. No coordination. Recognizing my growing frustration, I kept trying and eventually I got into a bit of a rhythm until I hit the wall aerobically, surprisingly quickly fatigued by the cumulative challenge of jumping rope.

Maybe I wasn’t in as good of shape as I thought I was. I’d been consistently active at the gym, running consistently three times a week, yet a simple jump rope showed me I really wasn’t where I thought I was fitness wise.

Most of my significant moments of growth have grown out of moments when life humbled me. Some of those moments were unwelcome but showed up anyway. In other moments I voluntarily engaged with the realization and acceptance of certain situations, people, and circumstances and was willing to meet them where they were.

Including the jump rope.

Including myself.

Fighting with my perceptions of reality can often feel justified, even cathartic. And while the fighting might feel good, the fighting keeps you stuck and distracts you from taking the next steps in response to embracing the truth about those certain situations, people, and circumstances which, like that jump rope, can show you exactly where you are in relation to them.

If you’re open and willing to do so.

The jump rope showed me something I didn’t see in me. I could have discredited or denied the uncomfortable findings, or I could have accepted what was and decided to growth through it instead. Which is what I chose to do. I’ve gotten much better at casting aside my ego and habitual blame and allowing myself to be humbled by the truths in front of me. Knowing and accepting What Is provides the perfect foundation to build What Could Be if building a different experience is what you want to create for you. And in some areas of my life that’s exactly what I am intentionally doing.

Acceptance isn’t surrender. Acceptance isn’t passive. Acceptance isn’t even being OK with how portions of life actually are. It’s about allowing life to be exactly as it is right now and moving forward – or not – from a position of understanding where you are right now.

There is an unexpected peace and freedom which comes from accepting life as it is, without judging, without resisting, without wishing it was any different even if you’re tempted to wish that it was. For me that has been a long, non-linear, painful process.

But I’m getting better at it.

Just like jumping rope.

Photo by Ashley Inguanta on Unsplash

Are You Worth The Effort?

Perhaps this is a question you’ve never asked of yourself.

Our ability to grow and evolve is a choice we get to make for ourselves. Odds are there are already blueprints for the steps we’ll need to take to grow and evolve into whatever it is we decide we want to grow and evolve into. With an endless amount of information surrounding us, what is needed is a willingness to actually take action.

That’s where we can get stuck.

I’ve enthusiastically stood on the threshold of growth many times, both personally and professionally. I’ve had the opportunity, the ability, and I knew what needed to be done. Yet, quite often, I never did.

Looking back on several of those moments in my life, I’ve found a common theme for my inaction. It wasn’t laziness. It wasn’t ignorance.

It was a matter of worthiness.

There’s a story we always tell ourselves about ourselves. It’s a story of who it is we believe ourselves to be and what we believe is possible for us in our lives. For me, the greatest killer of Continue reading “Are You Worth The Effort?” →

The Soul Knows What The Soul Really Needs

I’ve outgrown quite a bit in my life.

People. Situations. Belief systems. Excuses.

But I’ve never outgrown the scent of a brand new box of crayons.

I’m not exactly sure what it is. Maybe it brings me back to a much simpler time of my life. Maybe it reminds me of a time of unlimited possibilities where my imagination could colorfully come alive with a clean sheet of paper and a crayon in my hand. Maybe it prompts me to remember how much joy I was once able to experience by simply expressing myself creatively.

Somehow in exchange for growing up we are often forced to grow out of some of the activities which brought us so much happiness as a child. I guess we’re supposed to find more age-appropriate sources of joy. That upward spiral toward such joy often demands “bigger and Continue reading “The Soul Knows What The Soul Really Needs” →

Enthusiasm Is Always An Option

“Anesthesiologist.”

That was Avery’s response when I asked her what she intended to work towards as she’s now a week away from heading off to college. Avery is very intelligent, and when combined with her drive and work ethic she leaves you will the impression that she’ll become anything she wants to become.

On the cusp of an exciting new chapter of her life, her level of excitement and enthusiasm are infectious. She’s worked hard to get to this point and she’s ready to dive in to what’s next.

I have to admit, when I was young and heading off to college my level of enthusiasm was never at the same level as Avery’s. The only thing that was infectious was my indifference and sense of stagnation. Maybe it was my lack of direction or vision for my life, or maybe it was me not being ready or even willing to fully embrace the next chapter of my life.

My relationship with enthusiasm had always put the pressure on other people, external events, and desired outcomes to give me something to be excited about. There was no inner organic sense of enthusiasm to be found, especially as I assumed the responsibilities of being an adult.

In reality, there was plenty to be excited and enthusiastic about. If I simply decided to see life in that way.

One of the most important milestones in my emotional and spiritual evolution was when I began to assume full responsibility for my life experience. When I decided to hold myself accountable Continue reading “Enthusiasm Is Always An Option” →

Christmas In July At The Beach

“Sunblock?”

“Cooler?”

“Towels?”

“Christmas tree?”

I’m not sure how long it takes for a tradition to become a tradition, but for the past few years we’ve celebrated Christmas in July. At the beach. I’m not sure why we started doing this in the first place. I’d seen photos of decorated Christmas trees on beaches primarily in the southern hemisphere where Christmas falls during their summer. It looked like a fun thing to do here.

One year after Christmas we got a great deal on a six-foot artificial tree and some cheap plastic ornaments and put them aside for a day in July. I even found a Santa bathing suit.

The tradition was born.

Setting up our tree for the first time was met with a weird curiosity by those beaching next to us. Their glances had a “what the hell are these people doing?” vibe to them. Once the tree was up Continue reading “Christmas In July At The Beach” →

Creating Your Unapologetically Authentic Life

“Pain pushes until vision pulls.” – Michael Beckwith

It wasn’t a pleasant birthday. Yeah, I was happy to have been given another one. But this one had something it needed to tell me and it wasn’t going to stay silent.

As I approached this particular birthday, I began to hear some annoying voices I’d thought I had repressed. Annoying in the sense that I just didn’t want to deal with them but they showed up yet again. But I guess when you’re willing to have open and honest conversations with yourself about yourself that creates a safe space for some uncomfortable feedback.

There had always been this feeling of a misalignment of sorts, a long-running inner conflict between who I was and who I knew I was created to be. I’ve always been very grateful for What Is, but there was an unrelenting gnawing that I’d yet to allow myself to fully embrace what was possible for me. With yet another birthday just ahead that repressed voice of inauthenticity began to scream. Loudly.

There are many reasons why we live a life of Less Than. Of settling. Of abandoning our own authenticity, of habitually taking what we are given instead of creating what we know is possible. We Continue reading “Creating Your Unapologetically Authentic Life” →

The Proper Use Of Middle Fingers

I could tell she’d done this before.

Arm fully extended, as was the middle finger on her left hand. All while maintaining perfect eye contact with me as she angrily and defiantly drove past me.

Apparently my driving skills did not meet her exacting standards, hence the middle finger feedback.

The world seems full of middle fingers these days. Perhaps everyone feels empowered as hostility and division have become seemingly commonplace and accepted. It’s easy to flip someone off perched high in the driver’s seat of an oversized SUV, just as it’s easy to trash someone on social media given the absence of physical proximity and the anonymity we can hide behind online, ever so brave behind the safety of a keyboard.

As much as I appreciated her feedback, I decided not to return the favor. I do have two middle fingers and I’ve certainly used them over the years to provide my own feedback to others. This time, I didn’t want to engage.

The price was too high.

When triggered, our response is always our choice. Returning fire might make you feel good in the Continue reading “The Proper Use Of Middle Fingers” →

The 6 Universal Truths To Accept About Your Life

You’d think something as important as life would come with an instruction manual. Buy a new toaster and you’ll learn how to toast bread in several different languages. But life? It forces you to figure it out on your own. It’s a process, a meandering non-linear journey through mountains and valleys of joy and pain just to find a base level of understanding of this thing we call life. For those courageous enough to willingly search within, we often don’t fully understand what we’ve signed up for. But it’s a journey we know we simply need to embark upon. In the darkness we often find the light.

If I were to be tasked with creating an instruction manual for life, I’d include the following six foundational ideals I’ve learned the hard way. The hard way, forged in the fires of my own skepticism, doubt, denial, blame, resistance, and fear.

And finally, acceptance.

Perhaps my trials will save you some trials of your own.

YOU MATTER

At times life gets us to a point where we can question our own value. Our own worth. We can often feel unheard and unseen even by those closest to us, creating an emotionally dangerous space perpetuating the questioning of the significance of our existence.

In the ever-distracted world we all share, our focus is seldom placed upon reminding ourself of of our own significance. And how often are we reminded by others? But in this intentional universe, ever purposefully in its creation, the fact that you and I are here is evidence that we matter, even if we perhaps aren’t quite sure why. There are no spare parts in this intentional universe. It simply doesn’t work that way.

Yes, you matter.

YOU’RE NOT BROKEN AND YOU NEVER WERE

A lot has happened to you since the day you were born. Some of those things have greatly impacted your own sense of self. Of who you are. Of what you think is possible for you.

Humans, including some well-meaning humans, in their attempt to love you and keep you safe, often transplant their own fears and limitations and insecurities into the fertile grounds of a young children’s Continue reading “The 6 Universal Truths To Accept About Your Life” →

Peter Mis LivingHalfFull.com

Lessons From A Life Unfolding

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