Know Yourself To Grow Yourself

All I heard was nothing.

Recently I discovered a rather interesting piece of music which contained absolutely zero music.

None.

It was composed by an American avant-garde composer John Cage, it’s initial performance in 1952. The title of this work is “4:33” as in 4 minutes and 33 seconds. Of silence. Of musicians seated and poised on stage simply silent and still for the next four and a half minutes.

The true music of this piece, according to Cage, is in the ambient noises found in the silence. Primarily noises from an uneasy audience not knowing what to do in the unconventional absence of sound.

An imaginative use of silence.

Silence can be uncomfortable, often labeled as awkward. And while silence has at times been both uncomfortable and awkward for me, silence has also been a transformative portal for my own inner growth and understanding.

Sitting in my own silence, I get to hear the not-so-ambient noises within me. I get to hear the chatter of my inner dialog, relentlessly ruminating on a wide range of subjects ranging from good to bad and everything in between.

And all I do is listen. Never joining in the conversations. Just listening. Observing. Not judging. Just listening.

As I listen, I learn to understand more about those voices within, and in turn more about me. My hopes, fears, apprehensions, doubts, and a collection of random thoughts and emotions all given a compassionate and safe space to simply be heard.

I would habitually run from any opportunity to sit silently with me. It was something I feared. I didn’t want to know what I already knew, so I would simply run away from me. A world full of immediate distractions easily allowed me the chance to avoid any uncomfortable conversations I knew I didn’t want to have with myself about myself. At some point, I got tired of running away. 

So I stopped running and started listening.

As a daily meditator, I now intentionally sit with my silence each morning. It’s become an important space where I am able to re-center myself and just be fully present to what is right in front of me and within me.

The inner dialog is still rather noisy some days. Other days those noises are peacefully absent. But whatever arises from the silence always has something to teach me about me that day if I am willing to listen.

The first step of growing yourself is knowing yourself. Of meeting yourself exactly where you already are.

It’s the foundation of all possibilities.

Embrace your silence.

Photo by Sage Friedman on Unsplash