Tag: impermanence

Making Space For The Noise

Making Space For The Noise

At times it sounds like a talk radio show. Hostile. Loud. Contentious. Not what you want to hear while quietly sitting still on your meditation bench.

Welcome to the thoughts in my head.

Years ago I was told that meditation was a peaceful process. Just sit, close my eyes, and the light of positivity and peace would embrace me. How disappointed was I when that never happened. The mind will speak when it wants to speak and sometimes it has a lot of unpleasant things to say, even if you’re on your meditation bench.

My job is to notice, not to judge or criticize what my thoughts may want to contribute. 

My job is to make space for the Noise.

The Noise. In the form of thoughts of frustration, uncertainty, regret, and doubt, all aspects of life we tend to experience but would rather not hear about. Especially when we’re trying to calm the mind through meditation. 

Maybe the Noise just wants to be heard?

The Buddhist nun Pema Chodron speaks of the mind being like a blue sky, equating thoughts as clouds passing though. The clouds can be puffy white or dark and stormy, but the clouds demonstrate their impermanence, simply passing through and fading away for us to notice as Continue reading “Making Space For The Noise” →

The Clarity Of Impermanence

The Clarity Of Impermanence

I hadn’t seen Steve in quite a while. We grew up in the same neighborhood, a bunch of us kids enamored with hockey and The Three Stooges. We all knew him as Zig, a nickname my older brother had endowed upon him. I never asked why. Life eventually took all of us in different directions until the unexpected reunion of us neighborhood kids at Steve’s wake.

Losing a friend hits differently. I’ve lost both of my parents, and as painful as their passings were and at times continue to be, I’ve come to accept the inevitable progression of children eventually burying their parents. But there is no natural expected progression when losing someone your own age.

Seeing Steve for the last time brought back a plethora of happy memories of my childhood. I could see all of us again as we once were. 

And now one of us was no longer here. 

There was a sense of randomness about his passing. As if it could have been any one of us who was no longer here. It was in that randomness I felt the uncomfortable presence of Continue reading “The Clarity Of Impermanence” →

Love & Kindness Are Always In Season

Love & Kindness Are Always In Season

Change.

Here in New England, October is full of changes. It’s getting colder. It’s getting darker. The leaves explode with their vibrant fiery colors, the foliage the defining signature of the season know as Fall.

As each season has it’s own unique characteristics, each will be rendered impermanent by time as one season eventually transitions into the next.

But some things need never be seasonally fleeting.

Like love.

And kindness.

The winds of the world can at times be cold and relentless. We can choose to respond with an equal Continue reading “Love & Kindness Are Always In Season” →

Controlling The Uncontrollable Mind

Controlling The Uncontrollable Mind

Perhaps your mind is like my mind?

My ever-distracted and noisy mind. Like an ultra-hyper new puppy. Like a sleep-deprived kid on a sugar high the day after Halloween bouncing off the walls.

And I’m supposed to be able to control that?

No wonder I sucked at meditation.

Maybe what sucked was my understanding of meditation.

I’d gotten quite consistent with my meditation practice. Showing up daily is kind of important if we hope to get better at doing just about anything. I’d set my timer, sit on my meditation bench, close my eyes, focus on my breath, and waited in silence for my own version of enlightenment to overtake me and bring me peace.

Instead my peace was consistently interrupted as those random thoughts relentlessly popped into my mind. “Did I pay the insurance?” “Why does my knee hurt?” “Why do these thoughts keep showing up?” As one would fade away another showed up close behind. Like a parade, a seemingly never-ending parade of thoughts doing all they could do to prevent peace from finding me.

I was wrong about meditation. I thought it was supposed to help me control my mind. I thought it was about creating the mental and emotional toughness to suppress and silence the noise in my head.

Sitting on my meditation bench each morning, I now fully expect my mind to be anything but quiet, especially initially.

But the important lesson is in the noise itself.

As I observe the active patterns of my thoughts, I am reminded of their impermanence. No matter how loudly they may scream, no Continue reading “Controlling The Uncontrollable Mind” →