Tag: evolution

You Don’t Owe Yourself An Apology For Being You

You Don’t Owe Yourself An Apology For Being You

Sometimes he shows up unexpectedly. Usually in the form of an unwelcome reference in an unwelcome conversation.

I had to live with him for years. He clung to me always, virtually inseparable. It wasn’t a particularly good relationship, either. Contentious, at times even emotionally abusive. I often didn’t live up to his expectations and I’d be relentlessly reminded each time I failed to do so.

But now he’s dead.

And I don’t miss him.

They never published an obituary in the newspaper for the person I used to be. The tormentor, the self-abuser, the one who did all he could to keep me exactly where I didn’t want to be. 

It was a long, often painful passing, a slow transition from one life of familiar limitation and lack Continue reading “You Don’t Owe Yourself An Apology For Being You” →

When You Run Your Own Race The Trophy Is Your Life

When You Run Your Own Race The Trophy Is Your Life

Seeing that number brought back the pain of that day.

I had three hours to finish and I wasn’t quite sure if I would. I came out of the final turn of my first half marathon and with one eye on the finish line and the other on the clock I knew it was going to be close. 

It was.

I made it.

And it hurt.

Going through a box of papers this week I found the race bib I had worn on that day. Number 156. It was a race I wish I had trained a bit differently for, but at age 59 I had officially completed the 13.1 mile distance the half marathon demanded of me. Dehydrated, sore, and legs like Jell-O, crossing that finish line was a joyful kind of pain I proudly earned every ounce of.

Coming in almost dead last in a field of 1,500 runners doesn’t sound very glorious but it was one of the greatest moments of my life. By the time I got to the finish line there were no balloons or Continue reading “When You Run Your Own Race The Trophy Is Your Life” →

Growth Isn’t Supposed To Be Pretty

Growth Isn’t Supposed To Be Pretty

There she was, all covered in mud.

It was beautiful.

On a recent run through the neighborhood I saw her parked in her driveway. She being a red Jeep Rubicon fully encrusted with several coats of dried dirt. I smiled just thinking about the fun had during the process of covering this beast with mud.

Jeeps were made to be driven, and this one was doing what it was created to do.

I want to be more like that Jeep.

For a good portion of my life I was anything but a Jeep. I was more like a rental car. I was simply going where I had to go, always living defensively, always worried about life’s scratches and dents. I just wanted to someday return my life in the same condition as it was given to me.

Playing small and living defensively isn’t what any of us were created to do.

The road to living the life we were created to live isn’t always straight, it isn’t always paved, and at times is poorly marked. It is full of ups and downs, starts and stops, unexpected breakdowns and Continue reading “Growth Isn’t Supposed To Be Pretty” →

Who Needs To Change For You To Find Your Peace and Happiness?

Who Needs To Change For You To Find Your Peace and Happiness?

Surely the world would be much easier for me to navigate if everyone lived and acted in ways which made my life more like I hoped it would be.

But we all know it doesn’t quite work that way.

You can wait a very long time if you’re waiting for the world to change.

How often do we look at people, events, and situations and wish they were different from how they actually are, hoping they would change to better accommodate our growth or happiness? We point to them as the reason for our inner frustrations and unhappiness. Somehow we’ve come to view them as variables which can be changed and manipulated, for our benefit, only to become more frustrated when they don’t.

The people whom we wish would change are actually more like constants. Mathematically, constants are known values, already defined and unchanging. In relationships we can often view ourselves as the constants, unchangeable nor should Continue reading “Who Needs To Change For You To Find Your Peace and Happiness?” →

The Forgotten Freedom?

The Forgotten Freedom?

Independence Day. A day most of the nation unplugs and celebrates the freedoms which serve as the backbone of America.

Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

But when do you ever stop to celebrate your own greatest personal freedom?

As humans, regardless of birthplace or nationality, we all possess the freedom to choose our thoughts. Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl described this as the “last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.”

Standing where you are, you have some life-shaping decisions to make. You get to decide if the Continue reading “The Forgotten Freedom?” →