Making Space For The Noise

At times it sounds like a talk radio show. Hostile. Loud. Contentious. Not what you want to hear while quietly sitting still on your meditation bench.

Welcome to the thoughts in my head.

Years ago I was told that meditation was a peaceful process. Just sit, close my eyes, and the light of positivity and peace would embrace me. How disappointed was I when that never happened. The mind will speak when it wants to speak and sometimes it has a lot of unpleasant things to say, even if you’re on your meditation bench.

My job is to notice, not to judge or criticize what my thoughts may want to contribute. 

My job is to make space for the Noise.

The Noise. In the form of thoughts of frustration, uncertainty, regret, and doubt, all aspects of life we tend to experience but would rather not hear about. Especially when we’re trying to calm the mind through meditation. 

Maybe the Noise just wants to be heard?

The Buddhist nun Pema Chodron speaks of the mind being like a blue sky, equating thoughts as clouds passing though. The clouds can be puffy white or dark and stormy, but the clouds demonstrate their impermanence, simply passing through and fading away for us to notice as they do.

I can’t control the clouds nor can I control my thoughts. The thoughts just sort of show up and I get to decide what to do with them. 

On my best days I just let the Noise speak without judging it for what it says and without judging myself for possessing such thoughts. Like clouds, the Noise reveals its own impermanent nature and moves along, making room for for what may next appear.

Surprisingly, giving the Noise a safe space to exist also disempowers it. I hear it, I feel it, yet I know it will soon fade away. It will probably come back, but I know it’ll fade away once again.

Meditation is not something I do for peace. I do so in order to practice noticing, to better cultivate my ability to be more fully aware and present with whatever happens to show up in my life.

Even if what I notice is the Noise. 

Photo by Elyas Pasban on Unsplash