Tag: release

The Magnetic Nature Of Expectations

The Magnetic Nature Of Expectations

The quote arrived in a social media feed.

“Expect nothing. Appreciate everything.”

The appreciate everything part…I can learn to do that. But the expect nothing part?

Is that even possible?

I’m not sure where my expectations come from, but they’ve always been there in one form or another. Expectations for myself as well as expectations for others. Especially the ones I had for others. Buddha warned that unmet expectations certainly can be a source of great suffering.

That’s exactly what they’ve been for me.

My problem with my expectations is they would often contradict reality. It was me not accepting What Is in favor of how it is I felt it Should Be. Or needed it to be. Forcing is a form of fear, a need to control that which is out of your control. Yes, a perfect breeding ground for a great source of suffering to flourish in.

Releasing expectations is a pathway towards peace, but for me it’s been a bit of a rocky road. Having no expectations means no one can disappoint you nor let you down, right? But many attempts to expect nothing proved to be nothing more than jaded, passive aggressive attempts to defiantly deal with my Continue reading “The Magnetic Nature Of Expectations” →

Let Go Or Be Dragged

Let Go Or Be Dragged

A well-timed Zen proverb appeared in my social feed.

“Let go or be dragged.”

We’ve all been dragged, haven’t we? Dragged by holding on to expectations of wanting What Is to be other than it actually is. Dragged by well-intentioned hopes which have always remained nothing more than hopes.

Yet we continue to hold on, ever so tightly, our emotional hands blistered and bloodied as we relentlessly and blindly tighten our grip further.

Let go or be dragged.

Releasing expectations is always easier on paper. It requires getting comfortable with the uncomfortable, but in doing so it also creates the space for peace.

Your peace.

My peace.

As we head into a new year, we get to decide what we are willing to take with us. As far as expectations, the only ones I intend to take with me are the only ones I can control.

The ones I have for myself.

I’m letting go of the others.

So my blistered and bloodied hands can heal.

So I can get a more solid grasp on fulfilling the promise of my own creation.

Continue reading “Let Go Or Be Dragged” →

The Power of Surrender and Release

The Power of Surrender and Release

A beach day in January.

It’s my annual tradition.

East Beach in Westport. Around the the start of a new year I make my way here. Only at low tide will this beach reveal the limited amount of sand which exists on this narrow stretch of shore. This beach is mostly rocks and stones, each uniquely shaped and weathered by the power of the crashing waves they are constantly subjected to.

I come here to release. To release the things I choose not to carry with me into a new year. Emotional things. Like anger, doubt, fear, resentment, hurt, regret, frustration, bitterness…

Self awareness is a wonderful gift. Over the years I’ve gotten quite good at knowing me and accepting me. Compassionately. There is no good, bad, nor ugly. There just is. I’ve learned to just be aware of what I’m feeling and not judging myself for feeling what I feel. I know what I am carrying within me, and when I decide I don’t want to carry that emotional heaviness any longer I come here.

To throw it away.

Literally.

My “methodology” is rather crude and simple. A stone and a Sharpie. As I walk on the rocky shore I simply pick up a stone, Continue reading “The Power of Surrender and Release” →