Tag: emotional safety

A Safe Space For Emotional Authenticity

A Safe Space For Emotional Authenticity

I remember her tears when she fell off the swing and broke her forearm many years ago. That was one of my bittersweet recollections as I stood before the swing set on a Friday afternoon, ratchet in hand, as I began to disassemble a part of her life she had simply outgrown.

She outgrew it well before I was ready to accept that she did.

Life is full of transitions, many of which happen well before we are willing to accept them. The impermanent nature of everything can lead us to resist realities we are not yet ready to embrace, clinging ever tightly in hopes of prolonging the inevitable. But the inevitable is called inevitable for a reason.

There is a delicate balance between holding on and letting go, a balance I struggled with as the pile of rusted bolts grew at my feet. Over the years I’ve learned to allow myself to handle life transitions however I need to handle them, giving myself the grace to toggle between the holding on and the letting go. There is no “right” way to measure my response against, as my journey and my process are uniquely mine to experience. No apologies or explanations needed. For others or for myself.

Just a safe space where I am free to be emotionally authentic in any moment, in any situation.

Even on a Friday afternoon with a ratchet in my hand.

Creating such a space was one of the most significant transitions I’ve made in my own life. 

A space we all deserve.

Photo by Clay LeConey on Unsplash

How Deep Is Your Love?

How Deep Is Your Love?

I was told there’s nothing to see there.

Which is why I wanted to see it.

It’s 7:30 AM and right on schedule the ferry pulled away from the dock for the one hour ride to New Shoreham, a small island off the coast of Rhode Island. A booming summer tourist hotspot, the island is in full hibernation mode on this frigid December morning. Cold, isolated, and barren.

It’s exactly what I had hoped for.

I’m not sure when a ritual becomes a tradition, but for the past several years I select one day in late December to become somewhat invisible and inaccessible. A spiritual spa day of sorts, where I find myself in cold, isolated, and barren locations in coastal Massachusetts and Rhode Island wonderfully alone, embarking on long hikes in solitude where the only voice I hear is the one in my head. 

These days are important days. These are the days of reflection, release, realignment, and reconnection. This is a safe space for me to be honest with me about me. A kind and loving space where I allow myself to process and unpack the heaviness life sometimes throws upon your shoulders and your heart. In this space there is no agenda nor the pressure of needing to Continue reading “How Deep Is Your Love?” →

You Don’t Owe Yourself An Apology For Being You

You Don’t Owe Yourself An Apology For Being You

Sometimes he shows up unexpectedly. Usually in the form of an unwelcome reference in an unwelcome conversation.

I had to live with him for years. He clung to me always, virtually inseparable. It wasn’t a particularly good relationship, either. Contentious, at times even emotionally abusive. I often didn’t live up to his expectations and I’d be relentlessly reminded each time I failed to do so.

But now he’s dead.

And I don’t miss him.

They never published an obituary in the newspaper for the person I used to be. The tormentor, the self-abuser, the one who did all he could to keep me exactly where I didn’t want to be. 

It was a long, often painful passing, a slow transition from one life of familiar limitation and lack Continue reading “You Don’t Owe Yourself An Apology For Being You” →

Staring Into The Eyes Of Impact

Staring Into The Eyes Of Impact

It was an unexpected opportunity to learn.

Earlier in the week I was asked to present some grant awards on behalf of a local educational foundation I do some work with. The foundation awards these grants to meet specific teacher requests which typically fall outside the funding parameters of limited school budgets.

My presentation was to a group of extremely important people. I found myself standing in front of the teachers of the school my daughters attended many years ago. Many of these teachers played such a vital role in the transformation of my young elementary school daughters into the strong, confident, and empowered young women they are today. And I know my daughters weren’t the only kiddos to be impacted so profoundly by those who were sitting in front of me.

It was an honor to stand before them.

As I scanned the room I remembered defining moments of impact many of these teachers had Continue reading “Staring Into The Eyes Of Impact” →