Tag: buddhism

The Magnetic Pull Of The Mud People

The Magnetic Pull Of The Mud People

I’m often reminded of the things I need to hear, of the lessons I need to learn again. One such lesson is encapsulated in the phrase “No Mud, No Lotus”, a quote attributed to Vietnamese Buddhist Monk Thich Nhat Hahn. It is a teaching of the necessity of contrast, of how the beautiful Lotus flower is first nurtured and cultivated in the mud and darkness in which it grows. Without the mud, there would be no Lotus. From the human perspective, the mud represents our pain and suffering, the Lotus represents our having grown through it.

From time to time I find myself cursing the mud I have once again gotten stuck in, frustrated and impatiently waiting for my desired Lotus to finally bloom. It’s only when I remember that being frustrated and impatient only gives me more to be frustrated and impatient about. When I release my tight grip on what I don’t want I am then able to make space to grasp what I do want.

When I release the mud, only then am I ready to receive the Lotus.

I’ve come to see that there are two types of people we tend to surround ourselves with. Mud people and Lotus people. The Mud people are more common, much more prevalent. Their familiar presence almost feels comfortable to some. The Mud people are the ones who keep us stuck. Intentionally or not, their proximity stirs up the murky waters of our lives, thickening the viscosity of the emotional mud we claim we want to escape but on some level have come to Continue reading “The Magnetic Pull Of The Mud People” →

The Unexpected Peace Of Acceptance

The Unexpected Peace Of Acceptance

Who knew such lessons could be contained in an eight foot section of rope?

A few years back I was humbled by a jump rope. One of the exercises in this particular fitness class I had signed up for involved jumping rope, something I’d not done in decades. But, how hard could it be? After all, it’s jumping rope, like riding a bicycle. You just pick up where you left off, right?

As I awkwardly spun the rope over my head, for the life of me I just couldn’t time my jumps correctly as the rope swung towards my feet. No grace. No elegance. No coordination. Recognizing my growing frustration, I kept trying and eventually I got into a bit of a rhythm until I hit the wall aerobically, surprisingly quickly fatigued by the cumulative challenge of jumping rope.

Maybe I wasn’t in as good of shape as I thought I was. I’d been consistently active at the gym, running consistently three times a week, yet a simple jump rope showed me I really wasn’t where I thought I was fitness wise.

Most of my significant moments of growth have grown out of moments when life humbled me. Some of those moments were unwelcome but showed up anyway. In other moments I voluntarily engaged with the realization and acceptance of certain situations, people, and circumstances and was willing to meet them where they were. 

Including the jump rope.

Including myself.

Fighting with my perceptions of reality can often feel justified, even cathartic. And while the fighting might feel good, the fighting keeps you stuck and distracts you from taking the next steps in response to embracing the truth about those certain situations, people, and circumstances which, like that jump rope, can show you exactly where you are in relation to them.

If you’re open and willing to do so.

The jump rope showed me something I didn’t see in me. I could have discredited or denied the uncomfortable findings, or I could have accepted what was and decided to growth through it instead. Which is what I chose to do. I’ve gotten much better at casting aside my ego and habitual blame and allowing myself to be humbled by the truths in front of me. Knowing and accepting What Is provides the perfect foundation to build What Could Be if building a different experience is what you want to create for you. And in some areas of my life that’s exactly what I am intentionally doing.

Acceptance isn’t surrender. Acceptance isn’t passive. Acceptance isn’t even being OK with how portions of life actually are. It’s about allowing life to be exactly as it is right now and moving forward – or not – from a position of understanding where you are right now. 

There is an unexpected peace and freedom which comes from accepting life as it is, without judging, without resisting, without wishing it was any different even if you’re tempted to wish that it was. For me that has been a long, non-linear, painful process.

But I’m getting better at it.

Just like jumping rope.

Photo by Ashley Inguanta on Unsplash

The Clarity Of Impermanence

The Clarity Of Impermanence

I hadn’t seen Steve in quite a while. We grew up in the same neighborhood, a bunch of us kids enamored with hockey and The Three Stooges. We all knew him as Zig, a nickname my older brother had endowed upon him. I never asked why. Life eventually took all of us in different directions until the unexpected reunion of us neighborhood kids at Steve’s wake.

Losing a friend hits differently. I’ve lost both of my parents, and as painful as their passings were and at times continue to be, I’ve come to accept the inevitable progression of children eventually burying their parents. But there is no natural expected progression when losing someone your own age.

Seeing Steve for the last time brought back a plethora of happy memories of my childhood. I could see all of us again as we once were. 

And now one of us was no longer here. 

There was a sense of randomness about his passing. As if it could have been any one of us who was no longer here. It was in that randomness I felt the uncomfortable presence of Continue reading “The Clarity Of Impermanence” →